


Honey Butter Toast

by SparkKisses



Series: Sweets [2]
Category: LazyTown
Genre: Angst, Domestic, F/M, Fluff, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-02 01:19:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8645608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparkKisses/pseuds/SparkKisses
Summary: Snapshots in the life of Sportacus, Stephanie, and Robbie Rotten as they adjust to life together. Sequel to Peanut Butter Banana Sandwiches





	1. Don't Look Down

The day was bright, birds were singing, children outside playing, and the blue air ship floated gently on the breeze. Flowers were blooming, their sweet fragrance perfuming the fresh air, and there was the sun, sending down warm fingers to caress everything.

  
This would have been the case, Stephanie imagined, if not for the violent storm that rolled in.

  
She grabbed what stationary object she could as the air ship lurched again, and she felt vaguely nauseous from the constant movement. Normally, the air ship was fairly smooth in the air. You could hardly tell you were high up in the atmosphere.

  
Again, this was not a normal day.

  
Stephanie whimpered as her stomach rolled with the ship, suddenly wishing she was with Robbie in his underground home instead. At least the earth didn't rock so badly, even if it was dark. She could handle dark.

  
Feeling her stomach clench, she grit her teeth and glanced at Sportacus' back. He was trying his hardest to pilot the poor wind-battered ship into a calmer patch of sky, but this just wasn't a good day. She looked away and rolled across the floor (she didn't dare even try to stand), slapping the wall button that opened the bathroom door and crawling to the sink, pulling herself up. She felt her vision swim for a moment, turning colors and fading to black even as her balance failed her and she bent her head over the sink.

  
Sportacus cringed worriedly at the sounds of retching and redoubled his efforts to get the ship steadier. If he could have, he would have let Stephanie out of the ship and had her stay with Robbie or one of her friends for the duration of the storm. But there hadn't been time, and by now it was too dangerous to even think about getting off the ship. He bit his lip and pointed the ship upward, above the clouds. It messed with the air pressure, but he didn't have much of a choice.

  
  
Stephanie was sprawled out across Robbie's chair a few hours later, much to its owner's irritation. Sportacus was resting momentarily, exhausted from his efforts to first ride out the storm, then anchor the air ship once the storm passed. He needed to do repairs on it, but he needed a quick rest first. His nerves were still frazzled from the storm and he could feel it, just a scant few miles away. He sighed, leaning against the cold pipe.  
"Sportacus?" Stephanie piped up. He opened his eyes.

  
"Yes?"

  
"You need a regular house."

  
He laughed weakly at that. Robbie sat on a table, watching the two of them with one arm propped up on his knee and supporting his head.  
"I'm surprised he hasn't got one yet," Robbie interjected. Sportacus scoffed lightly.

  
"You live underground Robbie. I don't think you can talk."

  
"Regardless," Robbie waved his hand briefly in a "whatever" gesture. "At least my house isn't a blimp, vulnerable to all the elements-"

  
"We've been over this," Sportacus interrupted. "It's an air ship."

  
Stephanie watched the two of them banter back and forth, and smiled slightly. If she didn't still feel sick, she'd go over and group hug the both of them. As it was, she curled up in the orange fuzzy chair and closed her eyes, burying her face in the fur. She breathed deeply and noticed the faint smell of Robbie and coconuts. She giggled slightly to herself, amused, and felt comfort wash over her, suddenly feeling tired. It was odd, she thought, that she had come to associate the town's ex-villain with comfort, but she did anyway. In the same way she loved the things she associated with Sportacus, she found herself taking comfort in things she associated with Robbie as well. Slowly, she drifted off to sleep to the background noise of two men talking and the dripping of water through pipes.

 

  
  
"Oh wow!" Stephanie squealed, delighted. She twirled around the empty room, doing an impromptu dance. Sportacus laughed from the doorway.

  
"You like this room then?" he ventured. Stephanie stopped and grinned at him, rushing over to hug him around the middle.

  
"I love it!"

  
Sportacus grinned back at her and ruffled her short hair affectionately, hugging her back.

  
He owed Robbie horribly now (though, really, Robbie only used "owe" to mean that he wanted attention- he had very little interest in money, surprisingly enough) but the bright grin on Stephanie's face was angelic.

  
"I have no idea what we're going to do with all this room," he mused. Two bedroom, two bathroom, kitchen, living room. He didn't think he'd ever resided on this much space in his life, and silently wondered at how he was going to utilize all of it.

  
Stephanie twirled around in the middle of the room again, singing to herself and dancing in the sunlight that shone through the windows.  
She'd have to show Trixie, and Pixel, and Ziggy… maybe not Stingy. He could get jealous. But she'd show him eventually. She stopped dancing and paused to consider where furniture was going to go. Bed against the wall, facing the window. Book cases next to it, vanity on the other side… she laughed happily.

  
Everything was going great.

  
Within a week, all furniture arrived, and was unpacked, assembled, and moved in. It had really been a group effort. Pixel helped extensively in the beginning, making blueprints for the layout of furniture and then helping with ordering the furniture online. Then once it all arrived, Sportacus brought it into the house, and managed to pull Robbie up from his house to help assemble it all. Sportacus was adept at using a hammer and nails, and simpler things like that, after all he did do modest repairs on the air ship, but some of the components for the larger pieces were too complicated, and Sportacus had never been one for following diagrams very well.

  
All in all, when it was finished, it was beautiful. Stephanie was delighted, and Sportacus wasn't displeased either. Personally, he almost wished he could have built a turf house perhaps, but… there weren't many hills in Lazy Town anyway, and it would stick out… this house wasn't bad at all.  
Besides, at least it was New Year's. The perfect time for moving, he thought. Mentioning the satisfaction to Robbie was a mistake however- the man had promptly wrung more information out of him, in ways that still made him blush to think about. And then even afterwards Robbie still delighted in teasing him about it. It wasn't his fault he preferred moving into a new home on New Year's! It was a cultural thing! But no matter how many times he told Robbie that, it didn't matter.

  
It was a very good thing that he knew teasing was a form of flirting and seduction, at least when it came to Robbie.


	2. Hang On To Yourself

Stephanie sighed, throwing her mechanical pencil onto the table and leaning back. Homework was impossible. She hated it. And the house was too quiet. She frowned.

  
It was always too quiet.

  
Stephanie loved the house, and loved being able to just walk outside without that small fear in the back of her mind that she would slip and fall climbing down a ladder… but Sportacus was gone in the air ship most of the day, patrolling. She didn't mind it. It's just that the place got lonely when he wasn't there, filling it up with energy. She walked over to the fridge and grabbed an apple out of it, sitting on the table and munching away. For the first time in a long time, she thought about her family.

  
It wasn't that big of a deal, being alone. When she had been younger, she had stayed with her grandparents when her parents left on trips. They were fond of trips. Then when she got older, she stayed with her uncle.

  
That still hurt.

  
Her uncle had been so nice, even if he was bumbling and clueless half the time. He had a good heart. As good as Sportacus. She sighed and tossed the apple core in the trash.

  
But really. She was twelve years old now. She couldn't be focusing on things like that anymore. It was a long time ago, and really, this wasn't bad at all. If she didn't have Sportacus then-

  
'No wonder no one wants you.'

  
She shivered, rubbing her arms. Well, there was no use in dwelling on it, at any rate. They hadn't been screened properly, that was obvious, and the next time a social worker came to check on her, she would have been removed from there and put somewhere else. If there hadn't been anyone else, she would have been sent to an orphanage. If she ran away, she would have been in huge trouble. She didn't doubt that there were more people out there like the ones who kidnapped her.

  
"Ugh!" she grunted in frustration at herself and kicked a chair. Why was she dwelling on these depressing things? She glared at the half-finished homework laying innocently on the table, and stormed off to her room to clear her head. Maybe a break was in order.

  
She was pulling her stereo out when a thought occurred to her, and she grinned brightly. She put on her shoes, grabbed her set of keys, scribbled out a note to Sportacus, and dashed out of the house, locking it behind her (though there was hardly a need, the town was so small and quiet).

 

Robbie Rotten was not having a good day.

  
He smashed another stubborn machine with his hammer. Useless. It wasn't going to chase away the phantom smell or the touches.

  
Bad dreams were uncommon for the man, but when they hit, they hit hard. He had not appreciated his sleep being disturbed by bad dreams of that place, or that man. It was bad enough when he dreamt of being small again. It was an entirely different matter when he was helpless even as an adult, and even worse when the perspective shifted abruptly, and he was the adult and a pink haired child took his place.

  
He didn't think he would ever stop retching after waking, but he did, and shakily stood up immediately afterwards and went straight for the alcohol.

  
Normally he didn't drink. It made him woozy and disoriented and that was not a good thing when you work with dangerous machines. But the bubblegum flavored schnapps made it easy, and there were rare moments when he just really needed to forget.

  
The sweet alcohol smell also served in erasing the scent of sweat and cologne from his nose.

  
Unfortunately, fate was not smiling on him this day.

  
Stephanie popped her head out of the pipe and spotted Robbie smashing things. She grinned, thinking it was the usual deal with him, and she rolled out of the pipe expertly, landing on her feet and plopping down in the orange chair with a giggle. She grinned wider when the banging stopped, knowing Robbie had heard her. Her expectation was this: Robbie would creep up behind the chair, lean over and block out the light, and ask her if she knew whose chair that was, and she would giggle and shake her head no, and Robbie would shrug, telling her to let him know when she found his pet slugs, if they were in there, and she'd make a show of squealing and jumping out of the chair, pinching Robbie for teasing her so. This was her expectation- normalcy.

  
Unfortunately, fate was not smiling on her either.

  
Robbie did indeed lean over the side of the chair. She looked up at him innocently, her eyes full of mirth, and his stomach churned.

  
"Out," he said dully. Her face fell, confused.

  
"Huh?"

  
"Out, brat," he repeated. Stephanie suddenly felt worried. He hadn't called her brat in a very long time.

  
"Is something wrong?" she asked, sitting up. Robbie's face had contorted in some indescribable emotion, and he roughly picked her up by the back of the shirt, pulling her up off the chair and dragging her back to the pipe.

  
"I said out."

  
"There is something wrong!" she asserted, whirling around to face him. "Tell me!"

  
Robbie rubbed his temples.

  
"Why," he muttered, so low that Stephanie could barely hear him. "Why is it that when you tell these brats something, they just don't obey?"

  
"Because I'm worried about you Robbie!"

  
Robbie looked up then, and she swore her heart froze. He was looking down at her with such a blank, cold, angry stare that she wanted to scream and cry and erase it from his face. It was like looking into the eyes of a stranger.

  
Robbie was slowly becoming furious.

  
"Worried," he mused. His speech was mildly slurred. "A little girl is worried about me. A grown man." There was a pause. "Of course, no one respects me… that's why. I'm a grown man and I can take care of myself. But no one gets it. I don't need anyone to worry about me, brat." He leaned down, too close to her face, and Stephanie's wide brown eyes got wider.

  
"Especially not you."

 

She fled then, up the pipe, close to tears. There was something wrong, but it didn't register in her brain. What registered was the thought that formed somewhere between a self-centered youth, and a socially-oriented young adult. Robbie just rejected her. And it was her fault. She had done something wrong. She ran to the house and collapsed on her bed, crying her heart out. Above Lazy Town, a sports elf's crystal blinked.  
Robbie grabbed the half empty bottle and took huge gulps. It made his throat burn, but it felt good. The burn felt like punishment, which he sorely needed. And the wave of numbness afterwards felt good too. He collapsed in his chair, staring at nothing and thinking about nothing, nursing the bottle.

 

  
Sportacus leapt down from his ship and opened the door, doing slow cartwheels to Stephanie's room and then straightening up, peeking in. He knocked on the partially opened door.

  
"Stephanie?" he inquired. Stephanie shuddered, her face buried and hidden in a pillow. She had already messed up with Robbie. She didn't want to do something wrong with Sportacus too. Maybe today just wasn't her day. She didn't say anything.

  
Sportacus frowned, worried, and stepped into the room, sitting down on the edge of her bed and putting a hand on her shoulder.

  
"Hey-" he started, and flinched backward, blue eyes wide, when she shrugged his hand off.

  
"Something is wrong," he murmured. Stephanie's shoulders tightened, and he could see her fists clench.

  
"Nothing is wrong," Stephanie replied, attempting to keep the wavering out of her voice. Sportacus frowned again, determined.

  
"Yes there is," he said and crossed his arms. "And I'm not moving until you tell me."

  
Stephanie felt something in her heart break and she wanted to scream, tears catching in her throat and burning.

  
"Why am I so stupid?!" she sobbed into the pillow, hands coming up and yanking on her hair in frustration. Sportacus inhaled sharply, and grabbed her wrists.

  
"No, you're not," he told her calmly, though he was anything but calm. What in the world happened?

  
"Robbie hates me!" she bawled out after a minute, and finally gave in to the impulse. She got on her knees and clung to Sportacus, biting back sobs that made her small frame shake. Sportacus automatically wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back soothingly.

  
"Shh," he said. "What happened? It's alright Steph."

  
She hiccupped, rubbing at her eyes.

  
"I was bored," she started. "So… so I wanted to go see Robbie. And I did, but when I went there-" she broke off, her eyes watering again and she had to collect herself and push on. "He was really mad. He didn't want me. He said to get out, and he… he called me 'brat', and he hasn't done that in forever Sportacus! I must have done something wrong, I know it, and now he hates me and…" she dissolved into incoherent crying again, and Sportacus continued comforting her as best he could while forming a plan. After a few minutes, her sniffling subsided enough that he pulled her back and looked her in the face, wiping stray tears from it.

  
"I'm going to talk to him. Something is definitely wrong. Will you be alright by yourself?" he asked. Stephanie smiled weakly.

  
"I'm not a little kid," she defended. The sports elf grinned at her and ruffled her hair.

  
"I know," he replied, standing up. "I just thought I'd check. I'll be right back." And with that, he wooshed out the door and toward a rather interesting billboard.

  
  
There was one thing Robbie disliked about alcohol, besides the part where it made you disoriented. It kept him awake. He thought it was supposed to knock you out, but apparently, it didn't. He had been lounging in his orange chair for the good portion of an hour, and he still hadn't fallen asleep. It was ridiculous. He lifted the empty bottle up and glared at it.

  
"Useless," he muttered, and let it drop to the ground and roll off somewhere. Somewhere in the back of his mind, there was a little voice telling him that it definitely wasn't good to binge drink like this, but he honestly didn't care. He missed the old days. Where he could sleep all day and eat cake and people listened to him.

  
His mind was hazy, but it still worked just as much.

  
He stared at a wall, thinking. He really shouldn't be surprised. Of course no one listened to him. He was pet to an elf and pixie. They dragged him around everywhere and made a show of it, 'Look who finally decided to join the party!', as if he really were a pet.

  
He stomped on hurt emotions that started bubbling up when he recalled that that's what he was here for. It really didn't matter. He was everyone's plaything; he just had to wait for them to get tired of him. That's what it was. But he'd be damned if he let it hurt him.

  
He suddenly wished he had more alcohol. What sounded good? He had heard rum came in flavors, maybe they had something sweet…  
He didn't even look over when he hear the clanging and wooshing sound associated with someone coming in through the pipes. He had back entrances. But those remained his secret alone. He smiled vaguely at his own private trick. He knew who it was anyway, he didn't need to look. Only one person besides the pixie would come in so blatantly, and that was the blue pixie. Elf. Whichever. They were close enough. He scowled. Of course he would just come barging in. Not even knock.

  
He felt mildly nauseous when the concept of being owned slipped into his mind, but he still didn't look.

  
Sportacus straightened up after rolling out of the pipe, adjusting his goggles. Robbie was there on his favorite chair, slouched over and staring blankly at a wall. Sportacus wanted to be angry with the man for upsetting Stephanie. It would be easier, because then there'd just be yelling for a little while and then of course Robbie would concede, in his own way, and everything would go back to normal.

  
Of course, with Robbie, nothing was ever simple. He had resigned himself to that a long time ago.

  
He walked forward a little but stayed some distance away from Robbie, leaning against a table and sighing loudly. Still no response from Robbie.  
"What happened?" he started. His voice echoed slightly in the large empty space, disrupting the quiet. Robbie still didn't so much as blink. Sportacus was trying hard to not get frustrated.

  
"Stephanie came home crying," he continued. "She says you hate her now, and you yelled at her. I know you don't hate her, so what's going on? She loves you, you know. Why are you doing this now?"

  
"You're all so damn stupid," Robbie muttered, not moving any muscle more than it required for talking. "What did you think would happen if you hung around me? It's good to be bad," and with that he finally moved, scooping up the bottle from the floor and draining it of the last few drops before a bracer-clad arm snatched it away.

  
"Drinking," the elf said flatly. "Classy, Robbie."

  
"What can I say?" Robbie grinned maliciously. "I'm a classy guy."

  
"So what happened?"

  
"You'd have to ply me with more than a bottle, elf. Unfortunately, honey doesn't do it for me."

  
Sportacus scowled at Robbie, irritated, but placed the empty bottle down out of reach.

  
"I'm not plying you with anything," he replied.

  
"Pity," Robbie interrupted, losing interest.

  
"You're going to tell me because I care about you."

  
At that point, Robbie's eyes did move, and swung to the side to focus straight on him.

  
"You don't," Robbie asserted. "I know what I am."

  
"And what's that?"

  
"A toy."

  
Sportacus lost his temper and abruptly stalked away, hands clenched at his sides. Robbie watched in a half-amused way, still floating rather nicely on the alcohol buzz. Sportacus paced three times back and forth across the room, stiffly, before he swung back around and came at Robbie, staring at him straight in the eyes.

  
"How many times do you want me to tell you you're wrong?" the sports elf said bluntly. Robbie smiled dreamily at him.

  
"I don't care," he replied simply, enjoying it immensely when he could see the visible strain in Sportacus.

  
"You're not a toy," Sportacus said. Robbie frowned slightly. Wrong answer.

  
"I am," he said. "What else would I be? Don't be so stupid."

  
"That's what you think?"

  
"That's what I know."

  
Sportacus grit his teeth.

 

  
Stephanie had intended to stay put. But she wanted to know, desperately, what was going on, and not just get it second-hand. She wanted to grow up, and she wanted to help her friend, her brother, her second dad. She knew something was wrong, and damn if she wasn't going to find out.

  
No one noticed her crouched just inside the pipe, listening intently.

  
"Robbie," Sportacus started slowly, trying to not yell. "You're wrong."

  
"You can keep saying it," Robbie mused, glancing around for another bottle, though none existed.

  
"I'm going to keep saying it until you know it's true!"

  
"You do that."

  
"DAMN IT Robbie!"

  
Stephanie flinched at the sound and curled up tighter in the pipe.

  
Robbie gazed serenely at the sports elf.

  
"You want to know why I kicked the pink sprite out and made her cry?"

  
"Because you're drunk and something upset you," Sportacus answered. Robbie chuckled.

  
"Yes," he replied. "But the reason behind that. You want to know, right?"

  
Sportacus was silent, so he continued.

  
"I'm going to hurt the little thing. I'd rather not. I'd rather not have to worry about whether or not I'm the same as that. She's a cute kid. Even I know that. She's an angel, and when I look at her, I know it. But I'm corrupting her. Why the hell you let me stay around her I don't know. I'm only going to hurt her." Robbie laughed.

  
"I had a dream again," he continued, the alcohol loosening his tongue. "I wasn't little. But he was still there, and I still couldn't do anything. But then, all of a sudden, swoosh! I'm not the one helpless anymore. It's her."

  
Stephanie felt her eyes fill up with tears for the second time that day. She put hands over her mouth as a reminder, 'don't make a sound,' and listened. There was silence for a moment.

  
"Which do you think would hurt Stephanie more?" Sportacus was saying quietly. "Pushing her away after all this time? You've done nothing but good for her, and you should know that by now Robbie-"

  
"You're not the one who has to deal with this you goddamn smug elf!" Robbie was gearing up for a fit, she could tell from the tone.

  
"You didn't have to deal with bad dreams, waking up in the middle of the night and remembering what you did and puking your guts out! So don't you dare give me a lecture! Do you not get it? It's my goddamn name! Rotten! And everything around me will get that way if I let it, so don't you dare! Don't tell me I'm good! I know better! I'd rather die here than hurt that girl, and if I have to, I will! And you won't stop me!"

  
Stephanie couldn't take it anymore. She bolted from the pipe. Robbie was standing, looming over Sportacus, who was looking close enough to tears himself, but still determined. She tackled Robbie fully, arms encircling his waist and holding on for dear life. She heard Robbie scream in fury and felt him try to pry her off, but she clung with every ounce of strength in her.

  
"Stop it!" she screamed back, eyes clenched shut. "Stop!"

  
"Get off!"

  
"You're not bad!" she kept going, crying openly. "You're not! I know who you are, Robbie Rotten! You're not bad! You're a good person!"

  
"Stop it!" it was Robbie who said it this time. "Get off!"

  
"Tell me!" she cried. "Just stop it and tell me what's wrong!"

  
Sportacus stood, frozen for the moment. He felt that sinking feeling that was telling him he was useless at the moment, and he stayed silent, ready to move in when the both of them collapsed.

  
"I'm not telling anyone about anything!" Robbie yelled, trying alternately to pry her off and get away from her. "What do you care?! What do either of you care?!"

  
There it was.

  
Sportacus pushed him backwards and the three of them collapsed onto the chair. Robbie was screaming and a breath away from thrashing like a madman, Stephanie was determinedly attached to his middle, and Sportacus had his arms pinned and was leaning over the both of them.  
"We're all messed up!" Sportacus yelled over the noise. "Is that what you want to hear?! Who's the one who doesn't know anything Robbie?!"

Stephanie was sobbing loudly.

  
"What's wrong?" she cried. "Please, please, just say what's wrong…" Robbie felt his breaking point getting close, but he was still going full-steam ahead and didn't give a damn about consequences. He opened his mouth to tell them all to just fuck off, but stopped midway through. With the girl pressed against him and Sportacus pinning his arms, he felt trapped. Suffocated. A memory slashed across his mind and his eyes dilated sharply.

  
Stephanie opened her eyes and looked up when she felt Robbie's body stiffen.

  
He'd stopped breathing. Her eyes widened at the same time as Sportacus.

  
"Robbie!" he cried out, and released him. He shook the lean man. "Breathe!"

  
Robbie abruptly did, gasping for air and hyperventilating, trembling. Sportacus was nearly crying but still trying to stay strong, Robbie looked terrified and confused, and Stephanie had never been so scared in her short life. She squirmed her way into the chair next to Robbie, hugging him and holding him still while he shook and Sportacus was trying to get him to breathe properly and not pass out. A wave of calm passed over her, and she wrote it off as her being past her breaking point. She couldn't cry anymore. She felt empty. But she could still be useful to Robbie.  
"It's okay," she whispered. She wasn't sure he could hear her over his own harsh panting. "It's okay Robbie. We do love you. Even if you're scared or mad. It's okay. I promise."

  
She heard a low keening wail from above her head, but she kept her eyes closed and her head against Robbie's torso as his breathing hitched and evened out, eventually passing straight into the heavy deep breathing of the unconscious. Only then did she open her eyes.

  
Sportacus was next to the chair, rubbing his temples with one hand and the other holding Robbie's closest hand. Stephanie shifted, lifting her head.

  
"Sportacus?" she whispered. The elf looked up, not managing to summon a smile for her.

  
"Yes?"

  
"I think we need to love Robbie more." There was a pause before Sportacus started laughing quietly.

  
"I don't think I can love him any more than I do, Steph," he whispered back to her. She smiled at him.

  
"Me neither," she confided. "But he doesn't know that. I think we need to hug all the bad dreams out of him."

  
Sportacus smiled, held out his hand, and she placed hers on top of his. It was a pact.

  
  
"This is so not necessary," Robbie complained. Stephanie shrugged.

  
"You're the one who's feeling all unloved," she quipped. Robbie growled at her and thrashed as much as he could while being carried over the shoulder of a sports elf.

  
"Brat," he hissed.

  
"Both of you behave," Sportacus spoke up. He kicked open the door to their house and immediately deposited Robbie on the sofa in the living room. Stephanie closed the door behind them and rushed to Robbie's side, curling up there. Robbie whined in protest and tried to scoot away, but she was undeterred.

  
"Whatever you two are planning, I refuse," he said.

  
"Too late," Sportacus replied, tilting his head to read the titles of movies lined up on the shelf and finally plucking one from its place. Stephanie cheered.

  
"What is it?" Robbie asked nervously, suspicious of whatever it was.

  
"Shh," Stephanie shushed him. "It's a movie."

  
"I knew that, I wanna know-"

  
"Shhh!"

  
He huffed, crossing his arms and slouching further. Stephanie used the opportunity to tickle his sides, which resulted in a loud yelp and Robbie scrambling to get away. Sportacus caught the man easily and deposited him back on the couch.

  
"Stephanie, be nice," he warned. She giggled in a unrepentant way, but kept her hands to herself. Sportacus put the movie in and then propped himself up on the couch next to Robbie, on the opposite side from Stephanie. Robbie narrowed his eyes.

  
"You're trying to pin me," he accused.

  
"Yep."

  
Robbie huffed, but didn't protest further, more curious as to what the movie was.

  
At some point during the movie, Stephanie slid down and rested her head on Robbie's lap. Robbie didn't know where to put his hands and ended up sitting absolutely straight for a good ten minutes before Sportacus took pity on him and grabbed him by the shoulders, dragging him close enough to lean against the sports elf. Robbie shuddered slightly. He knew he really didn't deserve any of this…

  
Then again, that never stopped him from taking things before. He sighed and let the tension go

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This series should be renamed "How Many Panic Attacks Can I Give One Character"


	3. 5:15 The Angels Have Gone

"Stephanie!"

  
Stephanie looked up from her garden and grinned, waving at her friends who gathered at the gate. She stood up and brushed the dirt off of herself, running over to them.

  
"What's up guys?" she chirped. Trixie waved a Frisbee in her face.

  
"Come on! We're going to play!"

  
"I have homework," Pixel whined.

  
"Oh, you can do it later," Stingy argued, eyeing the Frisbee greedily. Stephanie smiled encouragingly at Pixel and he seemed to change his mind, and the lot of them ran toward the sports field for a much-needed break.

  
Meanwhile, a slightly above average hero was watching them from high up in the air, smiling happily. He stood up from where he had been crouched down on the door, stretching his arms above his head. Two arms encircled his exposed torso and he grinned.

  
"Hello," the elf said.

  
"Mm," Robbie replied, resting his head on top of the sports elf's. "Let me guess. There's children being noisy again."

  
Sportacus laughed, leaning back into Robbie.

  
"You're good at guessing."

  
"I'm good at a lot of things."

  
"Let's go play!" Sportacus suggested happily. Robbie kissed the back of his neck.

  
"Sure," he growled.  
  
Unfortunately, he had an entirely different definition of "play" from the sports elf.

  
He found himself sulking on a bench while watching Sportacus and the children play soccer. He groaned and laid down on the bench, knowing that trying to nap was futile with all this noise, but determining that he could rest anyway.

  
Leave it to a sports elf to be oblivious to what Robbie considered "fun".

  
Ziggy noticed Robbie first, and snuck out of the game to get a closer look at what the villain was up to. Robbie hadn't done anything recently, but… that almost made it more suspicious. Over the last couple of years, the man had seemed friendlier (at least as much as possible, for Robbie Rotten) and been outside a little more often… but why? This was something Ziggy contemplated from time to time, along with why Trixie was so rough and why Stephanie had one day suddenly transformed from little girl to preteen with almost no transition period at all. Truthfully, Ziggy thought about a lot of things in his spare time, though, still being a child, he failed to grasp a good portion of it. Regardless, he thought about why Robbie Rotten was being more social than was usual, and could not come up with a reason why. He crept closer, and cautiously touched Robbie's arm. Robbie opened one eye and glared, which nearly made the poor boy lose his nerve entirely.

  
"What do you want?" Robbie muttered. Ziggy fidgeted, but tried to stay determined.

  
"I, I was just wondering… what are you doing out here Robbie? I mean, shouldn't you be in your house, sleeping, or plotting to kick Sportacus out, or-"

  
He was interrupted by Robbie pointing over to Sportacus, who was grinning happily as he did tricks with the soccer ball.

  
"Ask Mr. Happy over there," Robbie replied. Ziggy's young face contorted in confusion.

  
"You mean Sportacus?"

  
Robbie was about to respond with "No, the other ridiculously happy shorter-than-average elf over in that direction," but Ziggy continued.

  
"What does Sportacus have to do with you being outside?"

  
Robbie stopped and looked at Ziggy carefully. The kid was a pain, and adored Sportacus more than anyone else. At the moment, he was looking at Robbie with innocent confusion, genuinely baffled and trying to figure it out.

  
"What I meant to say is that I'm out here looking for my pet velociraptor," he amended. He nearly smiled when Ziggy's eyes got ridiculously wide with shock and wonder.

  
"Really?" he breathed. Robbie nodded and waved his hand dramatically.

  
"Lost him a couple of hours ago. I figure he'll show up eventually." Ziggy glanced around nervously, biting his lower lip.

  
"Does… does he eat people?"

  
"Oh, yes," Robbie answered casually, barely keeping a straight face. "Here. Have a caramel." He pulled a wrapped caramel piece from his pocket and pressed it into the terrified boy's hands and waved him off. Ziggy remained frozen for a moment more before he headed straight for the safety of Sportacus. Robbie grinned and closed his eyes again. Ah. It felt good to be bad.

  
  
Hours later, the kids were all gathered in Pixel's room playing video games as a wind-down from the game earlier. Sportacus and Robbie had disappeared afterward.

  
There were only two players at once, so Stingy and Trixie were battling each other on the screen while Pixel was tweaking a computer at his desk, Stephanie was watching the game and alternately cheering on her friends, and Ziggy was chewing on the caramel.

  
And thinking.

  
He swallowed the last bit of sticky sweet and hesitantly spoke up.

  
"Hey guys?" he started. When no one answered, he just kept going. "Do you think Robbie is acting weird lately?"

  
That got the attention of Stephanie and Pixel, though the other two remained at least mostly absorbed in their game.

  
"Weird?" Stephanie asked. "Like how?"

  
"Well, like, he used to never come out and hang around where we're playing, and he hasn't tried to get Sportacus kicked out in ages," he explained rapidly. He missed the look Stephanie exchanged with Pixel, too worried to pay much attention.

  
The idea of a velociraptor on the loose was fairly distracting.

  
"I think he's just changing Ziggy," Pixel finally said. "Don't worry so much."

  
"But!" Ziggy protested. "But what if he's just planning something really mean and waiting to catch us off guard?"

  
Stephanie almost laughed, but Trixie spoke up first.

  
"Hey, yeah!" she said, setting down her controller. The round was over in the game, though Stingy was still compulsively clinging to the controller. "What if Ziggy's right? Robbie Rotten always tries to keep us from playing! Why hasn't he tried to do anything lately?"

  
The smile faded a bit from Stephanie's face.

  
"Look guys," she said. "He's really not up to anything. Him and Sportacus… they understand each other now, that's all." That was part of the truth, anyway.

  
"I don't know," Stingy interjected. "Robbie's pretty tricky."

  
"He's not up to anything!" Stephanie replied, frustrated. Trixie picked up on it fairly quickly and couldn't help but provoke it.

  
"Woah now," the pig-tailed girl grinned. "No need to get defensive Pinky. We won't insult your boyfriend anymore." Stephanie thought she might see red.

  
"Don't even joke!" she yelled. Ziggy's eyes widened and Pixel looked up from the machine he was messing with. Stephanie never yelled.

  
"And stop making fun of him!" she continued. "He's really nice when you give him a chance and don't just try to annoy him!"

  
Trixie backed off, slumping back down into her seat on the couch and fiddling with the controller. Stingy blinked at Stephanie curiously.

  
"How do you know?" he asked simply. Stephanie huffed.

  
"Because I've hung out with him for awhile," she answered. "Besides, Sportacus trusts him."

  
"Sportacus trusts everyone," Stingy pointed out. Trixie aimed a kick at him to drop it already, but she missed.

  
"What makes you so sure?" he continued. Ziggy remembered something.

  
"Robbie said…" he started quietly. All eyes in the room focused on him and he tried to remember to keep his nerve. "Robbie said it was Sportacus' fault that he was outside so much now. I don't know what he meant."

  
"Hmmm," Stingy scratched the side of his face in thought. "Interesting." Trixie rolled her eyes.

  
"Can we just get back to playing?"

  
Stingy jumped off the couch.

  
"Someone else can have a turn," he said, and sat down next to Ziggy. Stephanie looked at him suspiciously for a moment before she sat down and grabbed the free controller.

  
  
A half hour later, Stingy decided he had figured it out. Pixel was showing Stephanie how to do a really cool move in the game, Trixie was still playing, and Ziggy was drawing on some printer paper with some of Pixel's highlighters and markers.

  
"I got it," he said. The other kids looked up curiously at him. "I know why Robbie is being so nice."

  
Stephanie rolled her eyes and Pixel looked apprehensive.

  
"He's not planning anything Stingy," Stephanie said, irritated with her friend.

  
"Maybe," Stingy conceded. "I thought about that. He would have done something already if he was planning anything. But I figured it out." He grinned, delighted to have everyone's attention for the moment. "Robbie's trying to impress Sportacus."

  
There was a moment of silence before Trixie started laughing so hard she nearly fell off the couch. Stephanie and Pixel were oddly quiet, and Ziggy simply tilted his head, uncomprehending of what was funny about it.

  
"See, see, I figured it out!" Stingy continued, eager to impress. "I read in my comic books! Robbie's the villain, right? And Sportacus is the hero. Well, in all the stories, the villains are all just jealous of the heroes, right?" Trixie calmed down enough to listen again, still giggling quietly. "Well, that means that Robbie has been jealous of Sportacus. But! But because he hasn't tried anything mean lately, I think maybe it changed into something else." He lowered his voice to a conspiratory whisper. "I think Robbie likes Sportacus."

  
Trixie couldn't take it anymore and did fall off the couch this time, clutching her sides. Stephanie's face got closed and she bit her lip. Pixel didn't seem to have any expression whatsoever, and Ziggy was looking as confused as ever.

  
"He…" Trixie hiccupped with laughter. "He likes Sportacus!" She kicked her legs helplessly, rolling on the floor. Stephanie's face grew darker and more troubled.

  
"So what if he does?" she challenged. Trixie grew more serious, though she still giggled slightly. She sat up.

  
"It's funny Pinky," she asserted. "I mean, try to imagine it!" Pixel was torn between wanting to tune them all out with another video game, or grab Stephanie's hand to reassure her. As it was he fidgeted nervously. Trixie kept going.

  
"Oh man, poor Robbie!" Trixie laughed again. "Trying to impress Sportacus! Unrequited love!" She made an exaggerated smooching face. "Oh Sportadork I love you kiss me!"

  
Even Stingy felt the sudden change in atmosphere.

  
"What if Sportacus liked him back?" Stephanie added quietly. She had her head tilted down. Pixel nervously reached out and touched her hand, and to his relief, she quickly threaded her fingers in his. She still didn't look up however. Trixie stopped laughing.

  
"Whaddya mean, 'what if Sportacus liked him back'? There's no way Sportacus could like him!" Seeing no response from her pink-haired friend, she kept going. "I mean, it's Robbie Rotten! He's grumpy and sleeps all day and eats nothing but junk food. And he isn't exactly cute or anything you know. I bet he's too lazy to even bathe regularly." Trixie laughed shortly and stuck her tongue out in disgust. Stingy spoke up quietly, even though he knew he had opened up something bad.

  
"In my comic books," he told the quiet room. "The hero never falls in love with the villain." He paused, and blinked, looking up at Stephanie. "In all the stories, the hero always falls in love with the pretty girl."

  
"That's horrible," Stephanie said, her voice wavering. Pixel's eyes widened in worry and he gripped her hand tighter. "It's horrible," she repeated. "You just presume things like that. You don't know anything." Trixie bristled at this and stood up.

  
"And what do you know, huh?"

  
Ziggy dropped the markers and rushed over, creating a barrier between the advancing Trixie and Stephanie.

  
"No fighting!" he pleaded. "We're friends! No fighting!"

  
"She's keeping secrets!" Trixie accused, her eyes blazing.

  
"Leave her alone!" Pixel finally spoke up, though his voice wavered. He really wanted to retreat into his computers. Computers never yelled at you, and computers were far less complicated than relationships between people. But he gripped Stephanie's hand, more to anchor himself than to keep her there.

  
"What does it matter anyway?" he said. "So what? If Robbie likes Sportacus, so what? If Sportacus likes Robbie back, what do you care?"  
That threw Trixie off and she paused, trying to form a response.

  
"Guys," Ziggy whimpered. "Stop."

  
"Heroes don't love villains…" Stingy muttered. Stephanie snapped her head up, and Trixie physically stepped backwards.

  
Stephanie furious was something extremely scary.

  
"HE'S NOT A VILLAIN!" she shouted. Stingy froze, eyes wide. Ziggy couldn't take it anymore and started crying. Pixel was shaking slightly, and glancing at his computer longingly. Stephanie trembled with fury, her eyes filling up with tears the instant Ziggy's did.

  
"Don't you EVER say that!" she continued, despite herself. "You don't know anything! The only reason Robbie was ever mean was because he was lonely! And now that he's not mean anymore you all start saying bad things about him! He's not a villain!"

  
There was absolute silence in the room, save from Ziggy's crying and Stephanie sniffling to try and keep from breaking down in tears herself. She hated getting angry. Hated it. Everything felt bad when she was angry.

  
She couldn't take it.

  
She wrenched her hand away from Pixel's, and ran from the room.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nevermind that Robbie considers himself a villain. A really excellent one, at that.


	4. Sense Of Doubt

"Robbie, please!"

  
"Forget it! This is really getting old you know."

  
"It's not even sports candy! Can't you even try?"

  
"Popcorn without butter is an atrocity! Stop trying to shove it on me!"

  
This was the conversation Stephanie was greeted with when she ran into the house, closing the door behind her. She wiped her eyes furiously and padded into the kitchen.

  
Sportacus was holding an open bag of popped popcorn, completely butter free and ultra-healthy, and trying to convince Robbie to try some. Robbie was sitting on one of the stools placed around the kitchen island counter, one elbow on the counter and his head propped up by his hand. He looked bored, but mildly amused by the sports elf's efforts. Sportacus was about to say something when he spotted Stephanie.

  
"Stephanie!" he said happily. Robbie turned his head slightly and looked at her. "What are you doing back so early?" Robbie immediately straightened up and turned toward her. Sportacus frowned, taking in her morose look.

  
"What's wrong?"

  
Stephanie shook her head and walked into the kitchen, climbing up onto a stool next to Robbie. The man automatically reached out and ruffled her short hair in way of greeting. Her bottom lip trembled.

  
"You may as well spill it, Pixie. He's going to worry himself into a fit if you keep it to yourself."

  
Stephanie looked up and saw he was right. Sportacus was sitting on the counter, staring intensely at her, and smoothing out his mustache. She giggled slightly, despite herself.

  
"I'm sorry," she said. "It's nothing. We had a fight, that's all."

  
"That's not nothing," Sportacus commented, frowning slightly. "What was the fight about?"

  
She kept her mouth shut and looked through the table.

  
"Steph?" Sportacus prodded. "Come on, you can tell me. Maybe I can talk to them and help patch things up?" Her jaw set.

  
"No," she said, determined. The fight was about him and Robbie, and if he knew that, he'd feel bad. She didn't want him to ever feel bad about being happy. "I'm not telling. And I don't want you to ask."

  
She felt a little bad when Sportacus gave her a worried look. She knew he would worry about her. But she wasn't giving it up. At that moment there was a timid knock at the door, and giving her one last look, Sportacus cart wheeled out of the room and went to answer the door. As soon as he was out of sight, Robbie grabbed a handful of popcorn and munched on it. He made a face.

  
"Could use some salt," he complained. He brushed his hands off and leaned against the counter again, watching Stephanie. He sighed dramatically, and hooked one leg of the stool she was sitting on with his foot, dragging her closer. Once she was next to him, he threw an arm over her shoulder and presented her with the popcorn bag. She took a handful.

  
"You know he can't keep his curious pointy ears out of anything," Robbie said. Stephanie looked down.

  
"Yeah," she replied. "But… it doesn't matter. I just don't want him to be upset."

  
"Ah," Robbie said. 'So it is about him." Stephanie jumped, her eyes wide. Damn Robbie Rotten for being a genius.

  
"I never said that!" she protested. Robbie smirked.

  
"Your reaction did," he shot back smoothly. She opened her mouth to say something when she was interrupted by a bawling blonde-haired child running straight into the kitchen and flinging himself at her. She barely swung around in time to catch him.

  
"Stephanie!" Ziggy cried. "Please don't be mad!" He hid his face against her, clinging for all he was worth. She held him and rubbed his back reassuringly.

  
"I'm not mad," she said.

  
"But you were!" Ziggy sniffled. "Everyone's really sorry! Pixel won't even talk to anybody! I don't know if he's scared or mad at everybody for making you leave!"

  
She bit her lip and continued comforting her youngest friend. Sportacus swung up onto the counter again, seeing he wasn't needed to comfort Ziggy this time around. After Ziggy calmed down, she ran a hand through his hair.

  
"I'm not mad," she repeated. "So you can tell everyone that. I just wanna stay home for the rest of today, that's all. The… the fight made me tired." It was a lie, but only a small one.

  
He bought it.

  
"O-okay," he sniffled. "But, I don't wanna go back. Trixie is still being mean."

  
"Trixie?" Sportacus spoke up. Ziggy rubbed his eyes and looked up at his hero from his perch on Stephanie's lap. He nodded.

  
"She was saying bad things," Ziggy explained. Stephanie tensed, about to put a hand over his mouth.

  
"Oh, well," Sportacus interrupted. "That is bad of her, but I'm sure she didn't mean to." Stephanie's look darkened. She was still angry at Trixie for saying those things. Ziggy rubbed his eyes again, frowning a little.

  
Stephanie was so entrenched in her thoughts of Trixie, she missed her moment.

  
"She was saying bad stuff about Robbie," he mumbled. Stephanie froze, eyes wide. Stupid hand of hers. Stupid slow reflexes.

  
"How surprising," Robbie drawled sarcastically. Ziggy seemed to only notice he was there at that moment, and he regarded Robbie with wide eyes.

  
"Did you find… your dinosaur?" Ziggy asked, whispering the second half as if the very words could summon said dinosaur. Robbie nodded.

  
"Yeah. He ate three people though. Sad, that. Oh well."

  
"Robbie!" Sportacus admonished. "You don't even have a dinosaur!"

  
"Maaaybe," Robbie grinned. "I am a genius you know."

  
"You lied?" Ziggy asked.

  
"Robbie likes teasing," Sportacus explained. Ziggy thought for a moment.

  
"Like Trixie?"  
Sportacus fought a smile at the thought.

  
"Sort of."

  
"More like 'not at all'," Robbie interrupted. "That brat couldn't plot if her life depended on it. No subtlety at all." He reached over and absent-mindedly grabbed a handful of popcorn and ate it, missing the victorious grin on the sports elf's face. Ziggy turned his attention back to Stephanie. He fidgeted nervously.

  
"Can… can I stay here instead?" he asked quietly. Sportacus jumped off the table energetically.

  
"Of course!" he answered. Ziggy grinned gratefully at him, but turned back to Stephanie for confirmation. The boy had come to look at Stephanie as a sort of older sister. He really didn't want to upset her.

  
So, he was immensely relieved to see that she smiled down at him and patted his head. He beamed at her and gave her a hug before sliding off her lap and onto his feet again.

  
"Come on!" he chirped, bouncing up and down. "Let's play!"

 

  
  
Robbie Rotten was a genius. And it was times like these when he wondered if it was a blessing or curse.

  
Analyzing what both the pixie and blonde-boy said, it was fairly obvious what the fight was about.

  
Him and Sportacus.

  
Robbie sighed in a frustrated manner, running a hand through his hair and leaning against the table. The pink pixie and her friends had fought about him and Sportacus. Which meant one thing and one thing only.

  
They noticed.

  
He wanted to stay calm and relaxed. He wanted to be assured that, even if not everyone in the town approved of it, it wouldn't matter. But it would. He wasn't going to delude himself.

  
The laughter of Ziggy, Stephanie, and Sportacus floated through the house as they played. Robbie remained in the kitchen, tapping his fingers against the table. Thought was a burden, and one he carried with great pride. But it was a burden, nonetheless. Without his genius brain, he might have not connected the two separate confessions about the fight, and not come to this conclusion.

  
But there it was. No use trying to ignore it now.

  
He rubbed his temples with his free hand, closing his eyes. One could only hope, at this point.

  
He opened his eyes when he heard small feet padding quickly into the kitchen and going through the refrigerator. Ziggy came into view, sipping a water bottle. He looked up at Robbie carefully, and Robbie stared back, indifferent. After a moment Ziggy smiled in a half-nervous way.

  
"I think Stephanie's right," he said. Robbie raised an eyebrow. Ziggy paused for a moment, considering, before he dashed forward and hugged one of Robbie's legs. Robbie stiffened, his eyes going wide. Was there some kind of "be affectionate" disease going around? Before he could push the kid off, he let go and backed up. Ziggy was still smiling.

  
"She said you were really nice," he explained. "And I think she's right."

  
Robbie stared at the little kid for a moment more, before idly swinging his gaze over to the window.

  
"Oh look," he said in an off-hand, bored tone. "He got out again. Hope no one gets eaten this time."

  
When he looked back, Ziggy was gone.

  
"ROBBIE!" he heard the sports elf yell from the living room. He smirked.

  
Cute kid. Far too gullible.

 


	5. Hallo Spaceboy

Pixel clicked furiously. His wrists ached from the odd angle, and his back hurt. His legs were aching too, and his eyes felt bloodshot. But he was embroiled in a game. And he refused to come out of it. He hadn't eaten dinner the night before, or breakfast. His stomach clenched painfully and distracted him at around two in the morning, but he ignored it and after that he couldn't really feel it.

  
Trixie and Stingy had left a long time ago, shortly after Stephanie did. That suited him fine. He didn't want to talk to people. People just complicated everything. He felt a wave of affection toward his computers. They never failed him. Well, once or twice, but only because he was the one who did something wrong. But they were always reliable. They were programmed that way.

  
He smiled vaguely as he won that level and advanced to the next. He fell back into his old habit of not even being vocal while playing. He ignored the knocking on his door at around noon. What day was it? Was it a weekend? He couldn't recall. Didn't matter.

  
"Pixel?" a muffled voice called. He ignored it. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He felt a brief stab of loneliness when he thought of other people.  
The simple solution to that was to stop thinking of them.

 

  
  
"Sportacus!"

  
Sportacus jumped up and spun off the wall, landing on his feet. Trixie was running toward him. He tried to ignore the un-hero-like feeling of annoyance at her. Kids said a lot of things about people, especially Trixie. She was probably sorry about speaking bad about Robbie. He had to be a hero anyway, regardless.

  
"What's wrong?" he asked as she came to a stop in front of him, panting.

  
"Pixel won't answer!" she got out. "I think something's wrong with him. He won't answer his phone or his door, and last night he wouldn't talk to anyone."

  
Sportacus readjusted his goggles, thinking. Pixel did have a tendency to shut out the outside world. Ziggy had said Pixel was upset last night. Would the boy get upset enough to shut himself in his computer world?

  
Sportacus sighed. What to do? He could break down the door and drag the boy away from his technology… but then he remembered that Pixel carried his gadgets around with him. He was almost physically attached to them. The sports elf scratched his head.

  
"What made him so upset?" he asked. Trixie blanched and kicked a rock evasively.

  
"There was a fight. Stephanie ran off." she finally answered. Sportacus tapped a foot, waiting for more with his arms crossed in front of his chest. Trixie turned red, remembering the argument.

  
"It wasn't my fault!" she defended. "Pinky was being all weird! I mean, why does she care so much about what we say about Robbie now? She never used to! She said he was nice! Since when is Robbie Rotten nice? Maybe Stingy didn't have to say those weird things, but that doesn't mean she had to blow up on everybody like that!"

  
Sportacus stayed silent for a moment, while Trixie stewed in her anger.

  
"Are you sorry you made her mad?" he asked finally. The color faded from Trixie's face and she relaxed slowly.

  
"… Yeah…" she murmured. "I was just teasing. I didn't mean to make her mad. I still want to be her friend." Sportacus smiled suddenly, and patted her on the head.

  
"You should tell her then," he said. He glanced around, then leaned down and stage-whispered: "She's in her room right now."

  
Trixie brightened.

  
"Thanks Sportacus!" she called, running off. He waved at her retreating form and contemplated his next action. Pixel would be alright for awhile. Unless his crystal went off, it'd be okay. What Trixie said was interesting though.

  
He was getting the feeling there was more that was said than simply talk about Robbie.

  
But he headed towards Pixel's house to assess the situation.

 

  
  
It was worrying.

  
Sportacus peered into the window of Pixel's bedroom and saw the technophile at his computer. This was usual, and not wholly worrying.  
The bags under his eyes, weak movements, and the way his eyes were bloodshot was, however.

  
Sportacus knocked on the window. No response. He frowned, and knocked harder. Still nothing. He slapped his palm against the glass, and there was a slight response from the boy. His eyes tore themselves from the screen and focused briefly on him, but within a second they were back on the screen.

  
Nope. Not good.

  
Sportacus tweaked his mustache, thinking. How to do this… ah. He snapped his fingers and smiled grimly, the idea forming. Tricky, but doable. He disappeared from view.

  
Pixel continued to play. He wasn't really enjoying it anymore. His brain felt fuzzy. But he kept going. He startled slightly when one of the many computers in the room started beeping at him. He blinked heavily and paused the game, looking up. He slid out of the chair unsteadily, and grimaced with pain when he straightened up. His back didn't appreciate the sedentary position. He picked his way unsteadily over to the computer, his back to the wall of monitors, and pressed buttons to quiet the beeping of the machine. He sighed, relieved, when it quieted, and automatically moved back in the direction of his main computer.

  
He was stopped by a strong hand grabbing the back of his shirt. He turned his head uncomprehendingly and his eyes got slightly wider when he saw Sportacus peering out of the screen at him.

  
"Sportacus?" he rasped, confused. Sportacus let go of his shirt and quickly did a flip out of the screen. He straightened up, wiping nonexistent sweat from his forehead with the back of a hand.

  
"Woo," he commented. "That one was difficult."

  
"Sportacus?" Pixel asked again weakly. "How did you…?" Sportacus leveled him with a serious but mildly concerned stare and took him by the shoulders.

  
"You look miserable," the sports elf said. Pixel blinked dully at him.

  
"Oh," he murmured. "Maybe. What time is it?"

  
"Two in the afternoon," Sportacus replied. Pixel didn't even look mildly surprised.

  
"Oh," he said softly. Sportacus frowned at him.

  
"When's the last time you ate Pixel?"

  
Pixel appeared to be trying to think.

  
"That was… no… lunch? I think. I remember… yeah. Lunch. Before…" his mouth shut after that. He really didn't want to recall.

  
"Before the fight?" Sportacus pried gently. Pixel swayed slightly and didn't say anything. Sportacus sighed and crouched down, coming to eye level with Pixel.

  
"Arguments between friends are pretty upsetting," he said gently. "But that doesn't mean there's not hope for them." Pixel's eyes were sliding over to his computer, so Sportacus continued quickly. "Just because people are complicated doesn't mean that dealing with them isn't worth it."

  
There it was.

  
Pixel's eyes stopped sliding toward the computer as he processed that.

  
"Maybe…" he murmured. "Processing…"

  
Sportacus smiled a little sadly at him. The poor boy's body was in bad shape. He'd probably need a full day after this to recover. Though, he was young. He'd spring back pretty quickly.

  
"Pixel," he said, interrupting the boy's weak muttering about loading data and processing. "Your body is going to shut down on you if you don't get some food and sleep soon." Pixel blinked.

  
"Shut down," he repeated tiredly. "I have to save my data first."

  
"Come on," Sportacus said, ignoring the jargon he didn't understand anyway and taking Pixel by the shoulder, leading him toward the door. "Let's get you some food before you pass out."

  
"Control, F, dash nine…" Pixel asserted dazedly.

 

  
  
Robbie tried to not be irritated. He really did. It made his whole day go smoother when he didn't get all worked up about something.  
But having an annoying kid follow him around all day in a miniature car was wearing on his nerves. Finally, he stopped and spun around.  
"Just why are you following my every move, brat?"

  
Stingy froze, then tried to look nonchalant.

  
"O-oh… I wasn't following you…"

  
Robbie leveled him with a look.

  
"I'll be sure to inform Shortacus that you've taken up lying as an additional habit." he said dryly. Stingy clamped down on the nervousness that sentence caused, and when he did, something occurred to him.

  
"Why… why would Sportacus listen to you?"

  
Robbie was silent for a moment, trying to form a response. It was too late. The pause itself was telling enough. Stingy's eyes got wide.  
"You do like each other," he breathed. Robbie sneered at him.

  
"Are you through following me now?"

  
He got no response. Stingy drove off as fast as he could.

  
Robbie continued walking, but after a moment, veered toward the house instead of his own lair. As much as another glass of bubblegum schnapps sounded great right about now, he had a sinking feeling that something was about to go down.

  
'Couldn't be that a bunch of brats just found out their hero is gay for the villain,' he thought sarcastically, rolling his eyes. 'Bad enough. I don't need to be drunk for it too.'

  
He opened the door. Wasn't even locked. A paranoid thought skittered across the surface of his mind, and suggested that he might want to tell the sports elf to lock it next time. The paranoia came to a stop and sank deeper instead, as he closed the door behind him and lounged on the sofa, flicking the television on.

  
If he got a chance to tell the sports elf anything at all. If the town made a big enough fuss… well, if the choice between Lazy Town and Robbie was presented to the elf, Robbie didn't want to think about the possibilities there. Besides…

  
If it came down to that, he'd rather remove himself from the available options than live with a perpetually depressed elf.

  
He didn't look up when he heard the patter of feet walk past the room on the way to the kitchen.

 

  
  
Trixie gaped, seeing Robbie Rotten so at ease on the couch in Stephanie's house. They had made up after Trixie apologized in her own nervous, awkward way. They talked for awhile afterwards, and Trixie grudgingly accepted that maybe Robbie wasn't so rotten anymore. Mean and selfish and rough, but not rotten.

  
It was almost a disappointment.

  
Stephanie grabbed her by the arm and kept going toward the kitchen. Once they were in the tiled room, she was released.

  
"It's… still pretty weird." Trixie admitted. Stephanie grabbed some food out of the fridge and set it on the counter.

  
"I guess," Stephanie answered. "It was kind of awkward at first. But you get used to him pretty quick. Like I said, he's a big nice softy deep underneath the hard shell-like exterior."

  
"Like a crab?"

  
"You really are hungry!" Stephanie laughed.

  
"Hey, that's not it! I was thinking about getting a pet. I heard hermit crabs were pretty cool." There was a moment of silence before she grinned mischievously.

  
"I might get it a purple and red striped shell."

  
They both burst out laughing at that.

  
"Make sure its water dish is labeled 'cake'," Stephanie managed to get out, clutching her sides. They laughed for a little while longer, but in the end it tapered off and Trixie grew somber.

  
"Hey Steph?"

  
"Hm?"

  
"Do Sportacus and Robbie actually?…"

  
Stephanie tossed her friend an apple and bit into one herself, chewing thoughtfully. She swallowed.

  
"They like each other, yeah." she answered finally. Trixie was silent, thinking.

  
"Is that such a bad thing?" Stephanie continued. Trixie shook her head, pulling a mildly disturbed face.

  
"No," she answered slowly. "It's just… way different. I never could've seen them… you know, together." Her nose wrinkled as a thought occurred to her. "Ewwww. Do they kiss?"

  
Stephanie laughed.

  
"When they think I'm not looking," she replied. "But it's the same as any kissing. I just don't wanna see it! Sportacus is like my dad now, you know?"

  
"Ugh, stop talking about it! Images!" Trixie clutched her head dramatically and Stephanie laughed again.

 

  
  
Sportacus helped Pixel into bed, sighing in relief when the boy immediately fell asleep. He pulled the blinds on the windows down to help. Pixel was a difficult case. Ziggy was easy to reform, because while he loved sweets, he also loved sports candy. A balance could be achieved there. It was a simple problem with a simple solution. Trixie was merely mischievous, and Stingy just needed to learn that not everything was his just because he said so.

  
Pixel, on the other hand, had avoidance issues. He preferred to block out reality rather than fight against it, and it was sinfully easy to do with so many escapes laid out by all his technology.

  
Sportacus gently removed the goggles and ear piece from Pixel's head and set them down on the desk. The poor kid was absolutely exhausted. Maybe Stephanie could come by later and cheer him up, when he wasn't so tired? That was an idea.

  
Sportacus quietly left the room and the house, closing doors behind him. He stretched once he was outside in the sunlight again, and spotted Stingy driving by.

  
"Hey!" he called out, waving. Stingy came to a stop and looked up curiously. His eyes got a little wider.

  
"O-oh… hi Sportacus…."

  
"Is something wrong?" the elf inquired, concerned over the half-heartedness of the greeting. Stingy shook his head furiously.

  
"I already know about the fight," Sportacus added. Stingy's eyes widened again.

  
"You… you do?"

  
"Yep," Sportacus said. "Apparently some things were said about Robbie? I didn't get the details."

  
"O-oh," Stingy murmured, more to himself. "Yeah… Trixie got a little carried away."

  
"So I gathered," he replied easily. Stingy gathered up his resolve.

  
"Sportacus?"

  
"Hm?"

  
"Robbie Rotten and you… what are you?"

  
Sportacus blinked, a little thrown off by the question.

  
"Me and Robbie? We're friends." he answered simply. And in the sports elf's mind, while he knew they were more than friends, they were also friends too. But explaining things to children often got complicated.

  
"Oh," Stingy said. There was a pause. "… just friends?"

  
Sportacus blinked again, confused. What was this all about?

  
"Why are you asking?" he said. Stingy fidgeted and looked guilty.

  
"It's… a theory, I have." Hearing no answer from Sportacus, he continued. "See, I was reading… and, well, let's say, I noticed some things, and I came to the astounding conclusion that Robbie was trying to impress you! By, you know, being outside more and stuff. Like he wanted attention. So, I thought, Robbie must really like you! But, then I told the gang that, and Trixie started making fun of Robbie, and Stephanie got mad and ran away. I… I really didn't mean to make her run away like that…"

  
Sportacus was about to console Stingy that it was alright, but surprisingly, Stingy kept talking.

  
"But before she left, Stephanie said something weird. She said 'what if Sportacus likes him back'. But… Sportacus, you wouldn't like him back, right? Because you're the hero and he's the villain, right?"

  
Sportacus took a deep breath and resisted the urge to start grooming his mustache.

  
"Robbie isn't a villain," he replied evasively. "He's just lonely and doesn't know how to be happy. That's all. He's not bad."

  
"But… what if it's a trick?"

  
"It's not," Sportacus assured him, smiling gently. "Trust me." Stingy paused again, thinking.

  
"Are… you really in love?"

  
Sportacus felt the hair on the back of his neck rise. He would never deny that he loved Robbie. Not ever. But not denying, and confessing it to a small child were two different things.

  
"Would it matter?" he asked, not looking at anything in particular. Stingy thought.

  
"No," he finally answered. "I just wanted to know."

  
"Yes," Sportacus smiled slightly. Stingy stared up at him for a moment before sighing.

  
"Well, I guess that's alright," he muttered, driving slowly forward again. "As long as Robbie doesn't try to take anything that's mine." Sportacus laughed heartily, relieved despite himself.

  
"If he does, let me know!"

  
"Oh, I will. Bye Sportacus!"

  
"See you later Stingy!"

  
Now… to check in on Stephanie and Trixie.

 


	6. Thursday's Child

Robbie's mood continued to get darker as time passed. He curled up on the couch, and told himself stubbornly, the possibility of being rejected did not hurt. He didn't need anyone. There was nothing in his heart left to break, so forget it. If the sports elf chose the love of the town over Robbie- well, that was understandable, wasn't it? Robbie Rotten's love was broken. It couldn't compare, even to the small community.

  
He felt more and more miserable, and hearing the light and happy laughter of children was againrubbing it in. He contemplated going into the kitchen and putting a stop to it. Scaring them off.

  
But it wasn't his house, and he was too tired to move from the couch.

  
He heard the blue elf come swooshing in through the front door and dash gracefully into the kitchen. The resulting cries of delight that his entrance brought, and the happy chatter of idle innocents that followed. He heard all of it. It made his stomach clench, and he laid down side ways on the couch, curling into a ball with his eyes on the screen.

  
None of them needed a crisis of uncertainty right now. He wouldn't be the one to give it to them. He was good at staying silent and invisible. It was how he lived for most of his life, and it worked.

  
Sportacus was leaning over the back of the couch and peering down at him.

  
"Feeling okay?" the sports elf inquired.

  
"Fine," Robbie muttered. Sportacus tilted his head a little, and fingered his mustache while contemplating. He finally decided on a move after a moment and brought his hand down, stroking the side of Robbie's face lightly, affectionately.

  
Robbie felt like something in his chest froze up and shattered. But he swallowed it back. Being strong wasn't one of his best points. Not a quality feature. But hell if he wouldn't attempt it.

  
He let his eyes close, soaking up the affection like a mildly damp sponge that wants to become saturated. Sportacus always radiated heat, even in the middle of winter. Robbie was never sure if that was because of him being so active constantly, or related to his higher than average tolerance for cold. Regardless, it always felt nice. He let the blue elf share a small bit of his warmth with him, and drank it in gratefully.

  
"Robbie?" Sportacus whispered. Robbie didn't respond, but the elf knew he was listening. Robbie always listened, even if he pretended not to.  
"Robbie, are you upset?"

  
Robbie opened his eyes at that. The petting stilled.

  
"What makes you say that?" he murmured back, keeping his voice low. Sportacus automatically brushed an errant strand of black hair away from his face for him.

  
"You're too quiet," Sportacus answered. "You're never this quiet unless you're napping or you're upset. Usually when you think too much."  
Robbie snorted.

  
"I need to stop hanging around you so much. There'll be no mystery left."

  
Sportacus smiled, relieved to hear even this small amount of dry wit from the man. He resumed trailing his fingers across Robbie's face slowly.  
"I told you, you think too much."

  
"Not when I'm right."

  
There was a lull in conversation, contrasting the noise of the television and the sounds of two girls in the kitchen, wreaking havoc no doubt.  
"So what're you upset about?" Sportacus asked simply, leaning further over the back of the couch and watching Robbie. It was one of the few things he enjoyed doing that required him to be relatively still.

  
"If it was the kids and their fight, it's okay now," he continued. "Everything's cleared up now. I think everybody's okay. Except Pixel… but that's nothing serious, and he'll be back to normal by tomorrow."

  
"All that's left is me, then," Robbie said without thinking, his eyes still focused on the television. Sportacus contemplated this for a moment before moving around the couch and kneeling in front of Robbie to resume his fingers' exploration of the man's face. Robbie pretended not to notice.  
"Feeling left out, are we?" Sportacus teased lightly. He didn't give Robbie a chance to respond, leaning forward and placing a gentle kiss on his lips before leaning back again. He smiled softly, serenely, at him.

  
"I love you."

  
Robbie felt the shards of whatever it was that had frozen and shattered from before, lodge in his throat painfully.

  
"Promise," he rasped out, voice thick. "Promise you won't leave." Sportacus immediately enveloped the skinny man in a hug from his position on the floor, and let his hands roam along Robbie's back, caressing out tense muscles.

  
"Promise you won't leave me behind," Robbie continued, hiding his face against the shirt underneath the vest Sportacus wore. Sportacus kissed the top of his head.

  
"I promise. I won't ever leave you Robbie Rotten. No matter what. No more worrying about that." he chided gently. He felt Robbie relax slowly.  
"Okay," he replied quietly. He really didn't know what else to say, so he let the sports elf hold him for awhile.

  
"Better now?" Sportacus asked after a few minutes.

  
"Mmn," Robbie confirmed. Sportacus smiled and let him go.

  
"I think Stephanie said she wanted to bake a cake," he said. "I figured you might want to sample it to make sure it has enough sugar to send normal people into a coma."

  
"Only obnoxious sports elves," Robbie replied, sitting up. He wanted the contact with Sportacus again, but they both had other things to do. Sportacus had a town to look after.

 

  
Stephanie opened the door to Pixel's room carefully, peeking around the doorframe. She spotted Pixel sitting curled up on his bed, pressing buttons on a remote control, with his eyes glued to a television screen. She stepped into the room quietly, shutting the door behind her. She padded over to him, jumping nimbly over random piles of clutter all over the floor until she was at his side. He hadn't looked up.

  
"Pixel?" she asked softly. He jerked, dropping the remote, and turning his head to look at her finally.

  
"S-steph?" his voice cracked a little. "What… what are you doing here?" Stephanie smiled a little for his benefit.

  
"Everybody's worried about you. I'm worried about you. You aren't answering when we call," she replied. Pixel looked at a loss for what to say.  
"I'm sorry," he finally decided. Stephanie smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. Pixel thought he was going to melt.

  
"It's okay," Stephanie said gently. "Do you want to come play outside now?"

  
Pixel wanted nothing to do with playing outside if it meant Stephanie would have to let go… he sighed a little, regretfully.

  
"Yeah," he replied. Whatever made the pink girl happy and set her at ease. Anything. Stephanie smiled brilliantly at him and he thought his system might crash right there. His heart was beating way too fast.

  
"Come on!" she chirped, letting him go.

  
"Hang on, I gotta find my shoes!" Pixel protested, looking around for them. "Where did I…"

  
"You mean these?" Stephanie giggled, holding one up. It had been half buried in one of the many piles of clutter.  
"Yeah! Thanks!" he hopped off the bed and took the shoe from her.

  
"What would you ever do without me?" Stephanie grinned teasingly.

  
"Crash," Pixel said seriously, spotting the other shoe and putting it on.

  
"He'd stay holed up in his room for the rest of eternity," another voice said. Stephanie whirled around and Pixel nearly fell over in surprise.  
Robbie Rotten was standing in the doorway.

  
"Done yet Pixie?" he asked, bored. Stephanie threw him a frustrated look.

  
"What're you doing here?" she demanded. "Sportacus said I could come alone!" Robbie scoffed.

  
"So he did," he confirmed. "Fortunately, I'm not as innocently naïve as that elf. It probably never even crossed his mind that you were going over to a boy's house all alone and unsupervised. How lucky for you that I'm smarter."

  
"Ugh," Stephanie shot back. "It's not like we were kissing or anything!" She missed the choked sound Pixel made behind her, as well as the resulting crash when he tripped over his own feet and landed on the floor.

  
"Yet," Robbie interjected, eyeing Pixel in an amused way while he climbed to his feet again. Stephanie made a frustrated noise and grabbed Pixel's hand.

  
"Come on," she said, pulling him along. "Let's go outside." Robbie let them pass and followed them out.

  
'What have I gotten into?…' Pixel thought.

 


	7. Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like adding too many notes to these things. I feel like it interferes. But for this chapter, I have to. 
> 
> This was written over 10 years ago now and it embarrasses the hell out of me to repost it at all. I was seriously tempted to leave it out entirely. But... in the end, I want to preserve the integrity of the story. Even if it's really really bad. And I really regret this... just, this whole section. Maybe I'll retcon it later to make it better.
> 
>  
> 
> So, here. Don't judge it too much, please.

Stephanie yawned as she walked slowly down the hall, stretching her arms over her head. Summer vacation really was wonderful. Sleeping in late was the best, it really was. Even if Sportacus kept trying to persuade her to wake up earlier and earlier. It was cute, in a way, because she knew it meant he was just bored without anybody to play with. But it was aggravating at the same tie, because she certainly wasn't going to be his playmate at four thirty in the morning as the sun was peeking over the horizon. He had kept bugging her about it until she finally presented him with a printed out copy of an article she had looked up on the internet on Pixel's computer, saying that as kids got older, their sleeping patterns changed temporarily so that they naturally wanted to stay up later and sleep in until the afternoon. Stephanie sighed as she remembered that conversation. Sportacus had been confused and mentioned something about how when he was a teenager that wasn't the case, but at that point Robbie had been walking by with a candy bar in hand, and deftly plucked the hat from the sports elf's head and pinched his ear. Sportacus had yelped loudly and retaliated by shoving four grapes into Robbie's mouth. It had sparked a civil war for the next two days.

  
Stephanie rubbed her eyes, opening the bathroom door. It had been an odd way of proving her point, but it worked. Sportacus let her sleep in until ten in the morning.

  
Meanwhile, Robbie was trying in vain to continue sleeping, despite the fact that Sportacus kept coming by him and poking him until he woke up and swatted the interfering elf away. He eventually had to settle for eating the last of Stephanie's sugary cereal (Sportacus had kept it shoved in the very back of the cupboard, predictably, but Robbie's sugar-seeking senses had yet to fail him) and watching early morning cartoons while he ate it.

  
His attention was diverted by a girlish squeal coming from the bathroom. After a moment of silence, it was followed by a much more angry squeal.

  
"WHO LEFT THE LID UP?!"

  
Robbie started laughing evilly despite himself, nearly spilling the cereal. Sportacus poked his head out of the kitchen at the first squeal, and now leveled a look at Robbie that conveyed perfectly what the sports elf was thinking.

  
"You're such a kid."

  
Stephanie slammed the door to the bathroom a minute later, stomping toward the living room. Robbie quickly schooled his face to look innocent. Sportacus watched the whole process curiously, and couldn't help noting that at least Stephanie wasn't swinging her arms when she stomped like Robbie did. He fought furiously with the urge to smile at that mental image.

  
Stephanie pointed dramatically at the man on the couch, glaring daggers at him.

  
"YOUuuuuuuu," she hissed. Robbie gave her his best surprised innocent look.

  
"Me?" he provided. She clenched her fist.

  
"You left the seat up," she accused. Robbie appeared to think for a moment.

  
"You should probably check beforehand, you know." he finally offered up, grinning broadly at her. Her eye twitched and she glared harder.

  
"Don't do it again." she said flatly.

  
"Did wittle Stephiepoo fall in?"

  
Sportacus ducked back into the kitchen. And kept reminding himself that this was how the two of them bonded.

  
Stephanie was seeing red. Robbie could almost see the way she puffed up like a furious cat, and it was hilarious.

  
"YOU'RE UGLY!" she yelled finally, stamping her foot to emphasize how definite that fact was. It was Robbie's turn to bristle.

  
"YOU'RE STUPID!" he yelled back. From the kitchen, Sportacus poked at a package of bacon and made a face at it, wondering if he should even try cooking it. Didn't protein help calm people down? Or did it aggravate them more? He couldn't remember. And he sucked at cooking things. The thought of sizzling bacon, with all that grease and animal fat popping and going everywhere… he felt his stomach turn at the very thought, and grabbed oatmeal instead.

  
"YEAH?!" Stephanie screamed back, clawing for a comeback. "Well… WELL YOU'RE A STUPID BOY!"

  
"Ha!" Robbie replied quickly. "You're just jealous you can't pee standing up!"

  
There was a bang from the kitchen as Sportacus smacked the back of his head in a cupboard from trying to stand up too quickly.

  
Stephanie turned red, unable to think of a response to that. Robbie smiled smugly at her from the couch while she quivered in fury.

  
"Y-you…" she seethed. "You… STUPID-HEAD!" She abruptly turned and ran back to her room, slamming the door shut behind her. Robbie blinked at the spot where she had been, confused. What just?… Did he make her mad? Sportacus sighed and emerged from the kitchen.

  
"You made her mad," he confirmed. Robbie shot him a glare.

  
"Brilliant, elf," he snapped. "Now tell me how to fix it."

  
"You don't need to snap at me just because you're confused," Sportacus replied evenly. He knew both of them too well. Though… usually, Stephanie wasn't this sensitive. That was a little odd.

  
"Go talk to her," he suggested.

  
"About what?" Robbie whined. Sportacus rolled his eyes.

  
"Ask her what's wrong. It's not that hard!"

  
"Easy for you to say!"

  
"Just go already!"

  
Sportacus lifted him off the couch and pushed him in the direction of Stephanie's room.

  
"Alright!" Robbie snapped, batting the elf's hands away. "I'm going already!"

  
"Good luck," Sportacus smiled slightly. "Try not to upset her more than you have." He ducked back into the other room before Robbie could throw something at him.

  
Robbie glared at the wall before huffing to himself and walking to the girl's bedroom door. He contemplated it. It… was a girl door. Beyond this gateway lay all sorts of girly things, and what if the pink pixie was crying or something? He felt his stomach flop around uncomfortably at the thought. He wasn't any good with crying people.

  
He shook his head, clearing away the thoughts. He was gonna do this. Sulking kids were the worst. He straightened out the cuffs on his wrists needlessly, drew himself to full height to give himself that extra boost of confidence that towering over others lent to him, and turned the doorknob, pushing the door open slightly. He peeked in.

  
Stephanie was scribbling furiously in her diary, tear tracks evident on her face, though it was contorted in frustration and anger rather than sadness. It made something in Robbie's chest twist to think about what she was writing at that moment. This wasn't the eight year old who wrote about him doing funny things and being a big softy. He swallowed heavily and stepped into the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.

  
When he looked up again, Stephanie was watching him with one eye and the writing had ceased. It was unnerving, seeing that expression thrown back at him. He stayed where he was and examined a wall.

  
"S-so…"

  
Stephanie's attention turned back to the diary and she began writing again. Robbie swallowed shakily. He hated dealing with girls! Too complicated. Hell, children in general…

  
"Umm… what's wrong?" he ventured. The writing paused again, but started back up. No response.

  
"So you're giving me the silent treatment now?"

  
Nothing. He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated.

  
"I'm sorry?" he offered. Stephanie threw the pencil across the room and he flinched.

  
"My stomach hurts and you made fun of me!" she accused.

  
"I make fun of everyone! You're not special!"

  
She glared at him for a few moments before it clicked in his mind.

  
"Your stomach hurts?"

  
She huffed and pouted.

  
"You're missing the point entirely," she complained.

  
"You should probably talk to the elf about that," Robbie mused, not even listening. She scowled at him from the bed.

  
"It's probably nothing," she replied. "I'm not going to make him worry about something stupid like a tummy ache." She fidgeted nervously and Robbie quirked an eyebrow at her suspiciously.

  
"Anything else?" he asked. Stephanie appeared to be contemplating, twisting bed sheets in her hands. Robbie waited, arms crossed in front of him.

  
"Well…" she started hesitantly. She was turning red, Robbie noticed. "Do you think… maybe… you could go to the store and get something for me?"

  
"Eh?" Robbie made a confused face. "Wouldn't it be better for him to get you medicine? I don't know anything about it." Stephanie sat up straighter.

  
"No! I mean… it's not medicine…"  
"Well?"

  
"It's, um…" she was turning redder and Robbie was getting a bad feeling. But she beckoned him closer and he found his feet moving forward, directed by insatiable curiosity. He bent over and she whispered in his ear.

  
He bolted straight up.

  
"SPORTACUS!" he yelled, looking terrified.

  
"Robbie!" Stephanie squealed in protest. Sportacus nearly broke the door getting in.

  
"What?" he asked, looking around for a problem. "What's wrong?" Robbie shoved him out of the doorway and then shoved him into the room.

  
"She's your daughter!" he said as way of explanation. "Your problem! Not mine! I'm not touching that issue, no."

  
"Issue?" Sportacus scratched his head, confused. Stephanie was busy throwing glares at Robbie and turning red simultaneously.

  
"Robbie Rotten, you traitor!" she hissed at him. He stuck his tongue out at her and disappeared into the safety of the living room down the hall. Sportacus watched the whole affair, growing more confused. He turned to Stephanie.

  
"Stephanie?… what happened?"

 


	8. What In The World

He came back from the store, humming a little tune and carrying a bag. Stephanie's pink-haired head peeked out from her room and at seeing him back, she ran, snatched the bag with a "Thanksdadddyberightback" and slammed the bathroom door behind her. Sportacus shook his head, determining that he'd never be able to understand some things, and found Robbie curled up on the couch flicking through television channels.

  
"That wasn't so bad," he said. Robbie gave him a look.

  
"What are you?" Robbie asked. "Do elves not get grossed out by anything?" Sportacus frowned slightly, bewildered.

  
"Grossed out? By what? I just bought a little box." He looked at the receipt and slowly pronounced the foreign word. "Ta-m-pons." Robbie shuddered so violently it looked like he might crawl out of his skin.

  
"Ew," he gagged. "Ewwwwwwwwww."

  
"What is it?"

  
Robbie stared at him for a full minute in shock.

  
"You're kidding."

  
"Nooo. What is it? Come on, tell me!"

  
"I am not going to give you the talk you crazy damn innocent elf. It's not happening. No."

  
"The talk?"

  
"No."

  
"Robbie!"

  
"You can forget it."

  
There was a long moment of silence where Sportacus looked confused and frustrated and Robbie was glaring at him for even thinking about it. But then, the sports elf's face relaxed minutely, and there was a tiny, ill-hidden smile of mischief that snuck onto his face.

  
Robbie saw it and ran.

  
He got about as far as the backyard before he was pounced from behind.

  
"Tell!" Sportacus demanded, straddling the man's back and pinning his wrists to the ground with one hand.

  
"No way in hell you crazy bastard!"

  
He was promptly tickled for three solid minutes, despite how much he thrashed and howled for release. Sportacus grinned and let him catch his breath after that.

  
"Tell," he repeated. "Why is it gross? What is… that thing I bought?" He had already forgotten the name. Robbie coughed weakly.

  
"No," he replied resolutely. Sportacus pouted.

  
"Why not?" He paused. "… Do I need to tickle you more?"

  
"NO!" Robbie shouted, squirming again. He stopped after a moment. "You could use other methods of persuasion though…" Sportacus tilted his head to the side.

  
"Like what?"

  
"Nothing," Robbie groaned. It was useless, with an innocent. "Nevermind."

  
"Why won't you tell me what that box is though?"

  
"Because it's gross," Robbie countered.

  
"But why is it gross?"

  
"For the love of… I'm not telling you. I'm seriously not going to explain that to you. Didn't you get any sex education as a kid?"

  
"Education?…" Sportacus pondered. "They have that for sex? Why would you need that?"

  
"So no one has to explain to stupid sports elves why tampons are gross, that's why!"

  
Sportacus frowned, thinking hard. This wasn't good. How was he supposed to help if he didn't know this stuff? Plus, he was naturally rather curious. Robbie squirmed again, getting uncomfortable underneath him.

  
"Let me up already!" he complained. Sportacus blinked and looked down.

  
"Maybe."

  
"Maybe?! Oh, you'll let me up Sportastupid, or… or…"

  
Sportacus sighed and released his wrists, standing easily.

  
"You're so loud Robbie," he said as Robbie climbed back to his feet. Robbie froze and looked at him incredulously.

  
"I'm loud? Are you insane?"

  
Sportacus smiled at him simply and made a beckoning gesture with his finger. Robbie regarded him skeptically, suspiciously, before slowly stepping closer. Sportacus stood on his toes and kissed him quickly on the lips.

  
"You're adorable, you know that?"

  
Robbie didn't reply for a moment, turning red.

  
"Egh… um… well." he finally stuttered. He adjusted his cuffs self-importantly. "Well, of course I'm adorable. It comes as part of the package of being so handsome."

  
"Mmm," Sportacus hummed noncommittally. "Lucky me." Robbie eyed him suspiciously.

  
"… What're you up to?"

  
"Nothing," the sports elf replied breezily, and did a few flips back into the house. Robbie followed slowly, still not sure what all of that was about. Stephanie was sitting on the couch with a bowl of ice cream. When Sportacus attempted to pluck it out of her hands, with a chiding "Not until after dinner, you know that!", instead of protesting while letting it go, she clung to the bowl with tenacity and glared. Robbie saw the look of surprise flicker across his elf's face, and caught the subtle shifting of his body that betrayed his intentions of getting into a battle of wills with the pink girl.

  
Robbie intervened on his behalf, grabbing a handful of shirt and dragging the shorter man away to leave Stephanie to her ice cream.

  
"Hey! Robbie!" he protested, but let himself be dragged into the other room. Once they were there, Robbie spun him around and gave him a stern look.

  
"You really want to know?" he asked flatly. It took Spartacus a minute, but he nodded. Robbie grimaced.

  
"I can't believe I'm… ugh. Fine. You owe me so much."

  
"I know I know!" Sportacus laughed. "I'll make it up to you."

  
"Yeah, you will," Robbie muttered. "Just please tell me you know the difference between girls and boys." Sportacus frowned and puffed up slightly, insulted.

  
"Of course I do!"

  
"Calm down and deflate, stupid. I'm making sure."

  
Sportacus huffed, but listened.

  
  
Sportacus was one rather confused sports elf.

  
He got the whole basic… process down from Robbie. It was all pretty weird, and he wasn't sure if Robbie was trying to trick him or not. So, he took it upon himself to examine the prior purchase. He found the opened box in the cupboard under the sink and fished it out. A small pamphlet fell out and he picked it up, unfolding it and reading it curiously. His eyes got wider and he dropped both box and pamphlet and scurried out of the bathroom, into the living room where Stephanie and Robbie were curled around a bowl of popcorn and flicking pieces at each other, picked Stephanie up and headed for the door.

  
"Wha-? Sportacus!" Stephanie protested. "Where are we going?"

  
"Store," he said shortly.

  
"What? Why?"

  
"You want to get Toxic Shock Syndrome? I'm not entirely sure what that is, but I'm sure it involves getting sick and that it's not healthy for you. So! Those… tam-pons I bought for you are unhealthy. We're going to the store to get something else."

  
He heard Robbie laughing hysterically on the couch in between mouthfuls of popcorn. Stephanie was turning a variety of colors, mostly red. Was that a symptom? He couldn't remember!

  
"Sportacus!" Stephanie dropped all her weight, sliding out of his grip and then standing again, out of grabbing distance. "It's fine!"

  
"It's not fine!" he argued.

  
"Let it go elf!" Robbie shouted helpfully from the couch. They both ignored him.

  
"I want to use them!"

  
"You want to get sick?"

  
"I won't get sick!"

  
"Can't you just use something else?"

  
"You never let me do what I want! I hate you!"

  
Stephanie stamped her foot and whirled around. This was the second time that day she blew up and retreated into her room. Sportacus stood completely still.

  
Robbie leaned until he could see Sportacus. He sighed and got up, making his way over while chewing the last handful of popcorn he had snatched. He brushed his hands off on his pants and put his arm over the sports elf's shoulder.

  
"Remember the irritability thing?" he provided.

  
"Yeah," Sportacus muttered. If Robbie didn't know better he'd say the elf was sulking.

  
"It's a good thing you don't actually have kids," Robbie continued. "You'd mother hen them to death." He felt rather than saw the way Sportacus bristled in protest, but he couldn't take it back.

  
"Would not…"

  
"You would. I'm surprised you weren't born a girl."

  
Sportacus rolled his eyes.

  
"Robbie…"

  
"Not that I'd complain," Robbie continued, tapping his chin thoughtfully, as if actually contemplating the idea. "I don't mind girls. Hmm. Yeah."

Sportacus colored.

  
"Stop that. I can feel you thinking about me as a girl from here." Robbie grinned.

  
"Heh. You'd probably be even shorter than you are now." Robbie giggled at the thought. Sportacus snorted.

  
"If I was a girl you'd have to deal with this though," he pointed out. That stopped that thought dead.

  
"Oh," Robbie said flatly. "That's… true. Damn."

  
The conversation led nowhere, but it succeeded in at least temporarily distracting the elf from heartbreak.

  
"I should go talk to her," Sportacus said. Robbie restrained him.

  
"Nope," he said. "Bad idea."

  
"Oh? And what would you do, Mr. Genius?"

  
"Thank you."

  
Sportacus slipped out from Robbie's hold.

  
"I'll deal with it my own way. Go eat more popcorn."

  
Robbie clutched his heart dramatically and staggered back to the couch while Sportacus rolled his eyes at the theatrics and walked to Stephanie's door. He knocked quietly.

  
"Stephanie?"

  
"Go away!"

  
He steeled himself. That wasn't going to hurt.

  
"I want to talk."

  
"No!"

  
A voice drifted down the hall from the living room.

  
"Stop being pouty, Pixie!"

  
An infuriated scream from Stephanie and the sound of something breaking was the reply.

  
"Robbie, stop helping!" Sportacus shouted back. The television volume got louder. Sportacus knocked again.

  
"Stephanie? Please open the door?"

  
"Why should I?"

  
"Because otherwise we'll have to talk through the door, and Robbie will hear every word."

  
"NO I WON'T!" came the shouted reply from the living room. Unseen, both Stephanie and Sportacus rolled their eyes. Stephanie opened the door slightly.

  
"Fine," she muttered. "You can come in."

  
"Thanks," he sighed, relieved. He closed the door behind him. Stephanie was crossing the room, ignoring him, and reorganizing books on the shelf. He shifted, wishing he had something physical to do to calm him down as well.

  
"Look," he started. "Maybe I overreacted-"

  
Stephanie snorted and he kept going.

  
"But only because I don't want to see you get sick."

  
"I'm not going to get sick," Stephanie asserted, still not looking at him.

  
"Why can't you use something else?"

  
Stephanie grit her teeth to keep from snapping at him.

  
"Because," she said. "Pads don't work as well."

  
"Pads?…" Sportacus murmured. He wondered what exactly… he shook his head. Best to not even try to imagine. Stephanie was giving him a skeptical look.

  
"Yeah," she said. "Pads. I can't dance with them." His eyes got wide.

  
"You can't?"

  
"No."

  
"… why didn't you just say that?"

  
"I didn't think I needed to!" She turned around and finally faced him. "Besides, it's not about that anyway! You hardly ever let me do what I want!"

  
Sportacus looked confused. Where did the nice sweet girl go? His pink dancing partner with the singing voice of an angel? What happened?  
He suddenly felt a weight settle on him, and his shoulders visibly slumped. He wasn't getting that girl back. People changed with age, and he always forgot that. It was easy to forget. He had changed very little throughout his life, save for the one transformation early in his life when he settled into his role as a hero, instead of the village rascal. So, it was easy for him to forget that other people never stayed the same. And it was unbearably sad.

  
"I'm sorry," he said finally. "I didn't realize." What realization he was talking about was unclear.

  
Stephanie noted the sudden change with concern. She wasn't really angry- just frustrated. He still treated her like a little kid, and she wasn't. She was practically a teenager and here he was trying to… what? She paused. The mirror in her mind flipped suddenly, and she was presented with the opposite view- instead of being restrained by Sportacus, held back, she was the one who was walking away, while Sportacus was stumbling to keep up and tugging on the back of her shirt like a little kid.

  
Her stomach sank and tears sprang to her eyes without permission. What a sad image, she thought.

  
"Stephanie?…" Sportacus ventured, seeing her eyes glimmer with unshed tears. Her lip trembled and he automatically moved forward and caught her in a hug when she nearly flung herself against him. He held her close as she hiccupped like she was still eight years old, even though she had grown enough by now to come up to his chest instead of his stomach.

  
He was beyond confused. Did everybody have to go through this? Why were children so confusing as they got older? Still, he held her tight and waited for her tears to stop.

  
"Are you okay?" he said gently, looking down at her. Secretly, he hoped she wouldn't get as tall as him, so he could always have that feeling of being able to hold onto her and be her shield. Stephanie sniffed and backed away a little, rubbing her eyes.

  
"Yes," she answered, embarrassed. He probably didn't even know what she was crying about. And now she had nothing to be mad about, but she couldn't just start acting happy and normal again. She was stuck.

  
Sportacus tried to find something to say to fill up the void.

  
"… How about for your next birthday, if you want, you could get your ears pierced?"

  
Stephanie's face lit up and he felt relief melt in his chest.

  
"Really?" she asked. He nodded and she hugged him tightly again, jumping up a little and kissing his cheek. He laughed, though really he wanted to sob with relief, and hugged her back.

  
"We better get back before Robbie eats all the popcorn," Sportacus said.

  
"Too late!" a muffled reply came from behind the closed door. "Already gone. I got bored."

  
"Robbie Rotten!" Stephanie turned toward the door and glared, as if Robbie could actually see her through the door. "You're such a little kid!"

  
"And what're you?" came the retort. "At least I don't throw fits and lock myself in my room like a crybaby!"

  
Sportacus mouthed to her, "He does," and she giggled. There was a pause, and shuffling outside the door.

  
"What was that?" Robbie asked apprehensively. "… Is that stupid elf talking about me? Whatever he's saying, it's a lie!"  
Stephanie giggled more.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, god, I hate this. Posting it all in a big chunk to get it over with. Edited as much as I could stand to make it marginally less cringey.


	9. Teenage Wildlife

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a palate cleanser. Congrats on making it through.

This is my moment of opportunity, Pixel thought.

  
Sportacus was playing with the other kids, Robbie was napping (or attempting to) on a bench, and Stephanie had broken away from the game to get a drink of water. Pixel wandered over to her in a casual manner, though his heart felt like it might overheat and thump straight out of his chest.

  
"Hey Steph," he started, cursing internally when his voice cracked a little. Stephanie smiled brightly.

  
"Hey Pixel! What's up?"

  
Pixel fidgeted, glanced away, and couldn't help but finger his compact wrist computer nervously. He wished he could just put it on a CD and give to her, but she didn't own a computer. It was almost tragic. He swallowed thickly.

  
"Well, um… I was just, you know, wondering if maybe… uh, you might want to, you know, hang out later maybe?" He almost started trembling with nervous energy. "Like, maybe go to dinner or something?"

  
Stephanie's eyes widened and she clutched her water bottle a little tightly. She smiled nervously.

  
"Y-yeah," she replied, her voice a little higher than normal. "That sounds good." Pixel smiled, relieved in one way but a million times more apprehensive in another.

  
"O-okay!" he managed. "Does… four sound good?"

  
"It sounds great."

  
"Okay! I'll see you then bye!" And with that, he ran straight back to his house. He sat in his room, staring blankly at the computer.

  
It felt like every operating system in his body was going into a critical failure. If he were a computer, he was sure there'd be warning alarms going off, telling him that if he didn't calm down, there'd be some serious malfunctions. But he wasn't, and he couldn't stop.

  
A grin spread across his face and he flung himself on his bed, messing the sheets up on purpose, just because he could, and laughing.

  
  
"You're what?"

  
Stephanie glared at Robbie for interrupting.

  
"Going to go have dinner with Pixel," she repeated. "If it's alright with Sportacus." She looked up at the elf with wide pleading eyes, a sweet little smile on her face. Robbie sneered. He knew that look, and he knew the stupid elf would cave.

  
"I guess so…" Sportacus said reluctantly, but he smiled when Stephanie hugged him thankfully.

  
"I'll be back before dark, promise!" she said. Sportacus nodded and watched her run off and out of the house. He sighed a little.

  
"How much you wanna bet one of the two gets kissed tonight?" Robbie said suddenly. Sportacus choked and coughed on his apple for a moment.

  
"W-what?"

  
"God you're naïve."

  
"They… they're too young to kiss!"

  
"She's thirteen. He's thirteen. Do you even remember being thirteen?"

  
"Yes," Sportacus answered, looking troubled. "But I didn't… I didn't kiss anyone!" Robbie looked at him disbelievingly.

  
"Yeah, but you thought about it, right?"

  
Sportacus felt heat rushing to his face.

  
"Ah-ha!" Robbie crowed. "The secret is out!"

  
"Robbie!" he protested. Robbie was too wound up to stop.

  
"Oooh, the dirty secrets the town hero keeps from everyone!" he giggled.

  
"There are no-!"

  
"So, what was it?" Robbie asked, grinning broadly. "Do they have elf Playboys?"

  
"Wha?" Sportacus gave him an utterly confused look, which Robbie missed.

  
"Maybe it was a Playgirl though…" he mused, more to himself.

  
"I have no idea what you're talking about!" he finally said, chomping furiously on the nearly forgotten apple in his head. Robbie snapped out of his contemplations finally, only to narrow his eyes.

  
"… Have you ever even seen a girl naked?"

  
Sportacus barely kept himself from choking again.

  
"Why do you ask such weird questions?" he accused. Robbie huffed.

  
"They are not weird," he replied. "They're perfectly normal. What's not normal is you." Sportacus threw the apple core in the trash can out of frustration.

  
"Of course I thought about kissing!" he finally confessed, admitting to himself that Robbie wouldn't let up until he said something. "But what's a Playboy?" Robbie colored slightly at that.

  
"A bunch of naked pictures." he answered slowly. Sportacus looked confused.

  
"Like… photos? We didn't really have cameras Robbie."

  
"Oh." He paused. "So, who was it you thought about kissing?" He grinned mischievously as Sportacus blushed again.

  
"A girl my age," he finally admitted. The grin on Robbie's face slipped a little, but he still looked amused.

  
"So you're bisexual then."

  
"Eh? What does that mean?"

  
"For the love of all things frosted, are you that sheltered?"

  
"Hey!"

  
"I'm surprised you even knew what sex was!"

  
He stopped at how red the elf's face was getting.

  
"… You did know, didn't you?"

  
"Of course I did! I'm not stupid!" Sportacus said, a little sharply. "Sorry if I'm not as educated as you are." Robbie leaned back slightly.

  
"Hm. I guess. You grew up in some weird foreign elf-colony in the middle of nowhere and I grew up in a city. I guess it's to be expected. Hell, we might as well be Superman and Lex Luthor."

  
"Who?"

  
"Nevermind. So, you ever kiss her?"

  
Sportacus scratched the back of his head.

  
"No. Never really came up. Besides, I wanted to go out and help people. I can't get attached to someone if I'm going to leave."

  
"True," Robbie replied. He looked contemplative. "So then, how old were you when you first kissed?"

  
Sportacus got red again.

  
"Don't tell me you were 20-something," Robbie said.

  
Redder.

  
"Older?"

  
"Um…" Sportacus didn't look at him, and was smoothing out his mustache. "Thirty one."

  
Robbie bit back a mocking remark, and thought.

  
"Wait a… You said you were thirty six this year."

  
Sportacus nodded, twisting the ends of his mustache slightly, then smoothing it back out again.

  
"And you've been in Lazy Town for over five years now."

  
Nodded again.

  
Robbie felt air freeze in his lungs. That couldn't possibly mean what he thought it did. He bristled, angry suddenly.

  
"Why the hell didn't you tell me it was your first kiss?!" he yelled. Sportacus startled, finally looking at him.

  
"Because… because! I just didn't!"

  
"Damnit!" Robbie stood up suddenly and started pacing back and forth, one hand over his mouth. His face was mildly red, from embarrassment or anger Sportacus couldn't tell. After a minute, Robbie slumped back down again, turning redder and not looking at Sportacus.

  
"You could have told me," he muttered.

  
"It never came up."

  
"I meant when I-!" he cut himself off, looking angry. Sportacus sighed.

  
"You asked me to kiss you, so I did. It's not like you forced me."

  
Robbie only turned redder and shifted so he wasn't facing the elf.

  
"I wanted to," he continued, leaning forward and kissing the side of Robbie's face lightly. He finally got the lean man to glance at him from the corner of his eyes. Yep. The blushing was definitely from embarrassment.

  
"Stupid elf," he muttered. Sportacus grinned.

  
"Is someone feeling shy?" he teased. Robbie's eyes widened and he faced Sportacus.

  
"I am not sh-"

  
Sportacus interrupted his rant by kissing him soundly on the mouth. After a minute or two of slow kissing, he broke away, feeling distinctly like he was floating.

  
"You're the only selfish decision I've ever made," he admitted quietly. Robbie was red again.

  
"Glad to know I'm special," he murmured shakily. Sportacus laughed and kissed him again. Robbie responded until he felt a hand slide up the front if his shirt. He broke the kiss, panting slightly.

  
"H-here?"

  
Sportacus tilted his head, thinking.

  
"Why not?"

  
"What if the pixie forgot something and comes running in?" Sportacus thought for a moment more before grinning and snapping his fingers. Robbie jumped a little as he heard all locks in the house simultaneously click and lock themselves. His eyes widened.

  
"Elf magic?" he asked as Sportacus nuzzled his neck.

  
"No," Sportacus responded flatly. "Sports trick."

  
Robbie's eyes widened further at the sarcasm and he started to ask yet again where Sportacus had gone to. He was interrupted by an extremely intimate touch that left him breathless, and so he let the accusation die before it was voiced.

 

  
  
Pixel was about to send himself into a nervous breakdown. His palms were sweating, his stomach tightened out of fear, and worst of all, he felt utterly naked without his head gear. Not only did it provide him with information on the state of his computer systems at all times, but it also provided a pretty convenient way to shield himself from the rest of the world. It was silly, but he felt better knowing he could at any time flip the goggles back over his eyes and block anyone from seeing him clearly.

  
But he took them off for Stephanie.

  
The pink haired girl was looking up at the menu above the counter. Pixel wished he could take her somewhere nice to dinner… but they were both only thirteen years old, and he lacked money. Fast food restaurant it was. His heart skipped a beat when she turned to look at him with a bright smile.

  
"Did you decide what you want Pixel?" she asked. He fumbled, glancing at the menu. He wasn't particularly hungry.

  
"Y-yeah. Ready to order?" He took confidence in her enthusiastic nod and stepped up to order. He looked up at the person behind the counter, suddenly wishing he would hurry up and get taller.

  
"A cheeseburger with medium soda and-" he faltered, realizing he hadn't asked what Stephanie wanted. His body seized with panic and horror. What kind of guy was he, not remembering to ask?! He turned to Stephanie with wide eyes.

  
"A cheeseburger and fruit parfait with water," she reminded him, smiling it off. No big deal, it said. Pixel felt like he might melt into the floor. He turned back to the cashier and opened his mouth.

  
"Yeah," he managed to squeak. The cashier took pity on him and rang it up quickly, taking the money from the boy and placing the change back into his unresponsive hands. Poor kid looked like he was in shock. How cute.

  
Stephanie stepped in after that, taking Pixel by the arm and leading him over to a table to wait. Pixel sat down automatically and finally came out of his daze.

  
"S-s-so…" he managed, trying in vain to steady himself. "You like parfait?" Stupid. Stupid question. If she didn't like it why would she order it? Damn Pixel, pull it together!

  
"Yeah," Stephanie smiled. Again. He'd never get tired of that smile. "Do you?"

  
"O-oh." His brain felt like it was slow, like it was running too many programs at once. Answer, answer… "I've never tried one before…" Even admitting it felt like defeat.

  
But Stephanie nearly bounced up and down in her seat, gleeful.

  
"You can try some of mine!" she suggested.

  
Oh god. Wasn't that like indirectly kissing? Sharing food? Some distant voice in his mind was repeating: "Abort program." His mind shut down and his eyes got wide and glazed. Stephanie was watching him worriedly. Was it normal for boys to not respond like that? Or just normal for Pixel? Both were snapped out of their thoughts when their order number was called. Pixel snapped up.

  
"I got it!"

  
Stephanie watched him dash off to pick up the tray. He came back a moment later, carrying it carefully.

  
"Do you need help?" she asked. Pixel shook his head.

  
"I got it," he said, and slid the tray onto the table, taking his seat opposite Stephanie again.

  
"Thanks!" Stephanie chirped, unwrapping her food from its wrapper. Sportacus never liked fast food, so she hardly ever got to eat any. The stale stuff Robbie kept around didn't count either.

  
Pixel had to remind himself to not stare and eat his own food too. He didn't even taste it, though he ate as slowly as he could. More time eating, more time with Stephanie.

  
"So," Stephanie said, taking a drink. "Play any good video games lately Pixel?"

  
"Ah… some…" He swallowed dryly and gathered up what little confidence he possessed. "There's this really cool new one out. It has about ten thousand different levels and it's supposed to be impossible to beat."

  
"I bet you'll beat it in record time then!" Stephanie laughed.

  
"If my entire system doesn't overheat and crash before then," Pixel said weakly, not referring to any computer. How come Stephanie's laugh was so nice? She believed in him, even if it was only in his abilities as a hardcore gamer. It was something.

  
They chatted nervously back and forth until the parfait came into play. Stephanie unwrapped the plastic spoon and cracked open the lid to the dessert.

  
"Here," she said, pushing them over to Pixel. "You try it first, since you've ever had one before." He gulped again and shakily took the spoon, dipping it into the treat and then hesitantly placing it in his mouth. He smiled slightly around the spoon.

  
"'S'good," he mumbled. Stephanie laughed and unwrapped another spoon, taking a scoop out of the parfait herself. Pixel quickly scooped out a large amount.

  
"Hey!" Stephanie laughed. "Don't take all of it!"

  
"Mmph," Pixel swallowed it. "Then it's a contest. Whoever gets the last bit wins, deal?"

  
"Deal!" They both grinned and battle ensued. By the time they got to the last bite, an idea struck Pixel and he purposely hesitated with his spoon. Stephanie gave a triumphant "ha!" and took the last bit, grinning as she gave the spoon a cleaning lick.

  
"I win!" she proclaimed. Pixel grinned back at her.

  
"Yep," he said. Stephanie glanced out of the window and saw the setting sun on the horizon. She bolted up from the seat and startled Pixel.  
"I won!" she repeated. "So that means I get a prize, right?"

  
"O-oh," Pixel replied slowly. "I suppose." She smiled impishly at him and grabbed his hand, pulling him up.

  
"I know what I want! Follow me!" She led him out of the building and ran towards the highest point in town that wasn't a building, Pixel trailing behind her. She collapsed on the grass of the hill and laughed happily. Pixel cautiously sat next to her, confused.

  
"What does this have to do with your prize?"

  
She sat up and beamed at him.

  
"Close your eyes," she instructed. Pixel felt every single function in his body shut down, but his eyelids closed automatically, and he continued breathing, though shallowly. Was she going to kiss him? He'd short circuit every connection in his being if she did. Already he felt the overheating taking place. He swallowed dryly.

  
Stephanie placed both hands over his eyes.

  
"No peeking," she instructed. She tilted his head just so, and moved behind him, until the angle was perfect. Her heart was hammering in her chest from excitement. She slowly removed her hands and moved to the side to see his face but stay out of his line of sight. She wasn't oblivious to the way his eyes drew like super-magnets to her, and she didn't want anything distracting him.

  
She had won, but this was her gift to him.

  
"Okay," she whispered. "Stay still and open your eyes."

  
Pixel blinked his eyes open slowly, a little confused, but immediately halted. His eyes got wider.

  
Stephanie beamed at the look of wonder on his face. The sunset had struck her as beautiful when she glanced it from the window, but out here it was stunning. There was light cloud cover, so the sky was splashed with bright orange and yellow and red, with vague smatterings of purple and indigo. It really was breathtaking. And Pixel was left wondering why he had never seen the sun set before. They were both transfixed until the last of the glow died down, visiting other parts of the world. Stephanie found it a comforting thought that maybe somewhere far away there were people watching the sunrise even as they were here watching it set. They were sharing the sun, and it was a nice thought.

  
Pixel finally looked over at Stephanie, smiling shyly. She smiled back, glad that she had been able to share it, glad that she was able to show Pixel something new that he liked.

  
"You're prettier," he blurted out without thinking. He had never been good with words. Computers never required it. It was all data. The instant the words left his mouth he bit his tongue and cursed at himself in his head. Way to sound like an idiot. Great.

  
Stephanie felt heat rise to her face. It was disconcerting, because not moments before her face was warmed by the last rays of the sun, from the outside in. Now it was her own heat, working from the inside out. Confusing. Disorienting. Really kind of nice.

  
She smiled and grabbed his hand.

  
"I see the sun has gone down," an accented voice said above them. Stephanie startled, and Pixel slowly blanched. They both looked up and saw Sportacus standing behind them, hero-stance at full power with legs slightly apart, both hands on hips. The only reassuring feature was the very slight smile that tugged at the corner of his lips, even as he was trying to look as stern as possible. It just wasn't going to work for the sports elf.  
"Hello daddy," Stephanie squeaked. Sportacus tried his hardest to give her an unimpressed look.

  
"Don't 'daddy' me young lady," he admonished, wagging a finger at her reproachfully. "I know you're trying to butter me up. You said you'd be back before it got dark."

  
Stephanie fidgeted.

  
"It only got dark five seconds ago!"

  
"Five seconds late."

  
"… I love you?"

  
Sportacus cracked a smile finally, unable to hold it back any longer.

  
"Very cute," he admitted. She grinned triumphantly. "And devious. Robbie is rubbing off on you too much I think."

  
She pouted abruptly, not happy at all with the comparison.

  
"Back home, you," he instructed her, sending her off towards the house. He looked at Pixel. "And I'll walk you home Pixel."

  
Pixel had never been afraid of Sportacus, or even worried. Not once. But as he walked alongside the hero, he couldn't help but notice there were no acrobatic stunts, no flips. He was so scared he thought he might be sick.

  
None of this went unnoticed by Sportacus. If Pixel wasn't careful, he'd end up worrying himself sick, and that was the total opposite of healthy, and Sportacus simply couldn't allow that.

  
Never mind that he rather liked the boy and didn't particularly mind Stephanie's interest in him. They reached Pixel's house and stopped in front of the door. Sportacus paused and put his hand on the boy's shoulder, leaning down.

  
"She likes jigsaw and logic puzzles," he said quickly. "The more complicated the better. When was your birthday again?"

  
Pixel told him the date, a little confused but rapidly catching on to the hint. Sportacus hummed a little and nodded.

  
"Alright," he finally said. "Fourteen, right?" He paused. "Two more years." Pixel blinked at him, more confused until Sportacus clarified.

  
"If anything happens in less than two years…" he said airily, gazing up at the window to Pixel's room. He paused. "Huh. You know, Robbie likes machines. He's never worked with computers before. I'm not sure he knows how. He usually just… whacks at things with a large mallet."

  
Pixel shuddered slightly. He knew what was implied. It was a warning: wait until she's well into her teens before you even think of kissing her, or else your gadgets will suffer the wrath of the only other technical genius in a hundred mile radius, equipped with a mallet and a destructive personality. Oh, he knew the warning all right.

  
He nodded once, and Sportacus smiled disarmingly and ruffled his hair very lightly in a fatherly manner.

  
"Goodnight Pixel."

  
"Night Sportacus."

 

  
"Sooooo, how'd it go?"

  
Stephanie glared at the man lounging on the couch, his hair damp from a shower and leaving wet spots on the fabric.

  
"None of your business," she huffed. Robbie grinned.

  
"So, he botched the kiss then? Or did elfy sense your impending deflowering and swoop in just in time?"

  
Stephanie turned red and threw her shoe at him. He yelped and ducked in time, the shoe sailing past him.

  
"HA! Your aim sucks!"

  
"And what have you been doing?" Stephanie inquired, changing the subject. "You don't normally shower this early."

  
"Since when do you keep track of my personal habits, little miss nosy?" he shot back, but Stephanie caught the wary look in his eyes. She grinned this time.

  
"Ooooohhhhh," she said, much like a child who knew someone was in trouble. "Did you two need some alone time?" Robbie turned three different colors and seemed torn between different reactions.

  
"Wha…" he started. His eyes narrowed as he decided on a reaction finally. "Where exactly did you learn that?" This time it was her turn to avert her eyes nervously.

  
"You're avoiding the answer," she muttered. She didn't want him to know she had been reading romance novels in the bookstore. That'd be embarrassing!

  
"Because it's none of your business," Robbie snapped back. He paused. "Unless you'd like me to go into excruciating detail." Her eyes widened and she looked up at him. He wouldn't. He was grinning wickedly.

  
"Seeing as how your mind seems to already be harboring impure thoughts. Should I start where we were making out in the kitchen, or maybe when we ran out of hot water in the shower?" He was getting far too much enjoyment out of the look of horror on the girl's face. She finally found her voice.

  
"EWWWW!" she squealed, and clamped hands over her ears. "I'll never shower again!" Robbie started cackling gleefully, even going so far as to kick his feet in childish delight.

  
"That'll teach you!"

  
"What are you two arguing about now?"

  
Robbie leaned backwards until he was looking at Sportacus from an upside-down angle.

  
"You're back rather quick," he said. "Did poodle-head submit peacefully?"

  
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Sportacus replied, watching Stephanie turn different colors. "Are you okay Stephanie?"

  
"Yes," she answered meekly. "I think I'll just… go to my room… and pretend I know absolutely nothing." Sportacus watched her walk off stiffly, confused, while Robbie tried to not giggle and failed miserably at it.

 


End file.
